Evan: Why don't we just put two tables together—
Paige: They're round! You can't push to two round tables together, it won't work!

Is there a condition known as mental frostbite?

Hank: I do know my way around a Parcheesi board.
Evan: And Grandma's too. Wait ,that didn't sound right did it?

People leave their past behind all the time.

Evan: You came back because of a patient?
Hank: I thought so. But now I think I used a patient to hold myself back.

This three days is gonna fly.

I don't care what weird stuff you're into. I just need your advice.

Isn't everyone happy when they're doing something?

No, Divya has just lost her mind.

Can this be explained medically? Or should we be worried about body snatchers?

Evan: I'm just gonna say this fast so we can get it over with: you're on it.

You're gonna make all the other kids jealous, so calm down!

Royal Pains Quotes

Yeah, dude. Don't punk the crackberry. She'll light your ass up like a Christmas tree.

Tucker

Note to self, become a doctor.

Evan