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I really like it when you crack the fiscal rip. As it were. I think it's sexy.

Whoa, I'm a little offended right now that you're not cursing at me---in Italian.

So when's the wedding Henry? And am I even invited?

Do you ever use an accent when you're speaking?

Evan: Come on, Bro! Just give me the Cliffs Notes.
Hank: The Cliffs Notes just aren't available on this one right now!

Well I'm sorry, then you're fired.

Alright, you're not an alien.

We aren't gonna live on Saturn?


Fido and Payload, sitting in a tree...

Or were you just a little hefty?

Evan: So he's like Santa?
Paige: Yes, but instead of going down a chimney, he smells like one.

Evan: Did you get a DUI? Are you under house arrest?
Hank: NO...

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 262 in total

Royal Pains Quotes

I think I made a mistake, a very big mistake.


I didn’t want to disappoint you. I want to have it all!