Evan: So he's like Santa?
Paige: Yes, but instead of going down a chimney, he smells like one.

Evan: Did you get a DUI? Are you under house arrest?
Hank: NO...

Divya: You screwed up didn't you?
Evan: I'm cleaning it up!

Every new morning is a good morning.

You forgot the HankMed staff profiles?!

Evan: I need an Evan
Hank: So hire an Evan
Evan: I think Paige wants to be my Evan.

Paige went rogue.

It's like the poppy filed from the Wizard of Oz in here, Divya!

You're going to school to follow your dreams. Not your dad's, not your mom's, not mine.

Hank [to Evan]: I'm so impressed by what you do. I am so proud to be your partner, and you brother.
Evan: I think I really needed to hear that.

Hank: It's locked.
Evan: Do NOT be messing with me.

Hank: He's a real life zombie......that dabbles in cannibalism.
Evan: How do you DABBLE IN cannibalism, with a spoon?