Glenn Quagmire Quotes
Peter's a good friend. Not like Cleveland.
We're a team like fish and chips and fat guys.
If cellphones worked, every movie would be two minutes long.
How do you think NBA players get all those chicks? They're all great cooks. Except Kobe Bryant. His secret is different.
Ugggh! This tastes like Ani DiFranco after a bike ride!Quagmire (referencing an awful Korean Taco)
I'm an idiot? All anyone remembers from your argument is that you're in a wheelchair!
Quagmire: Is your baby pregnant?
Peter: I dunno, Lois is in charge of the kids.
Quagmire: Where do you get off?!
Stewie: Pretty much everywhere I hear. Fat man's right -- they're making this easy.
My misguided carnal instincts are the results of being raised by a sexual deviant.
Doctor: How do you feel?
Quagmire's Mom: Horny. Really horny. Could you put him back so I can push him out again?
I don't want to go to jail, but I really want to take credit.
Peter: Jesus, we're going to help you lose your virginity!
Quagmire: Oh god! I love sex!