Glenn Quagmire Quotes (Page 3)
Season 11, Episode 2: "Ratings Guy"
Quagmire: Thanks to you, TV's a vast wasteland. You know how I know that phrase? I read it in a book, you monster!
• Rating: Unrated
Quagmire: You put a real cougar on Cougar Town! And now that cougar's dead because Courtney Cox ripped it apart with her teeth and claws!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 10, Episode 23: "Internal Affairs"
Joe: It feels good to know that thanks to me and my colleagues, a lot fewer people will be injecting cocaine into their penises tonight.
Peter: Is that a thing?
Quagmire: It's a great thing.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 10, Episode 22: "Viewer Mail #2"
Quagmire: Hey kid, come here. I wanna see if I can still smell your mom's boobs on your mouth.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 10, Episode 19: "Mr. and Mrs. Stewie"
Peter: I mean, who says the body next to you has to be male or female? Or whatever!
Quagmire: Or alive!
Peter: Yeah! Well, no. But yeah!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 10, Episode 10: "Meg and Quagmire"
Peter: "I'M Back Bush?"
Quagmire: "This can't be a surprise to you, Peter."
Peter: "Yea, I knew, I just didn't know you knew!"
• Rating: 2.7 / 5.0
Season 10, Episode 9: "Grumpy Old Man"
Carter: "Hey Quandry."
Quagmire: "No, no it's Quagmire."
• Rating: Unrated
Season 10, Episode 8: "Cool Hand Peter"
Quagmire: "O come on! They don't own French fries!"
• Rating: Unrated
Joe: "I know, an exciting day for me is when I watch wheelchair porn. Boy do sparks fly on those."
Quagmire: "Oh is it hot?"
Joe: "Eh, it's mostly chairs smashing into each other."
• Rating: Unrated
Season 10, Episode 7: "Amish Guy"
Quagmire: "Peaches, Ginger, Honey, Candy, Olive... oh you know what? This is the wrong journal..."
• Rating: 3.8 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 133