Oh so now it's snooping, wanting to know more about your family by looking through their personal things?

Gloria: He's a lying, scheming little sneak. That's my son.
Jay: Our son.

I can't lie to that face. It's a good thing we're not married.

Gloria: You had a 3 hour nap on Sunday.
Jay: I was tired.
Gloria: From what, your 2 hour nap on Saturday?

Jay: This behavior of yours is not gonna fly when you lose your looks.
Gloria: Awww, you'll be long gone by then.

Jay: You and Manny have the closest relationship I've ever seen. Hell he may never form a healthy attachment with another woman after you.
Gloria: You're just saying that.

If she learns how to froth his cappuccino I am history!

He says I make him nervous, that I care too much. That's why I not even allowed to bring him to his haircuts anymore.

This is not my first language. I don't understand English very goodly.

Jay: Just keep hitting all those buttons until something good happens, that's my plan anyway.
Gloria: Woof.

I know a lot of people think I'm attracted to Jay because of his mind. But they're wrong. I'm attracted to him because he's sexy.

Alex: You maybe wanna take a shift carrying this dry ice?
Gloria: No I just had a baby.
Alex: I watched you carry Manny to bed.