Claire: Wow pretty cozy with the new housekeeper huh?
Gloria: She's my sister.
Claire: Wow pretty weird with your sister!

In my village if you didn't drive one of these, you couldn't call yourself a druglord

I am very angry at you and I'm going to make a list of all the things I'm going to scream at you as soon as this baby's out of me.

I have two brains in my body but I've never felt so dumb.

Gloria: The baby kicked me all night. It's either going to be a football player or a chorus girl.
Cam: You can be both. My senior year I was a right side linebacker and a left side cancan dancer in Gigi.

Claire listen to me. Take a lot of cash and when you flash it at the police, do not speak about it. Their eyes do all the talking, okay?

I have an angry baby inside of me making me do bad things!

I wrapped my son with one hand while driving a stick. I know how to keep my kid safe.

Gloria: I'm pregnant.
Claire: You're gonna get so fat!

Jay: Tired of walking in those heels?
Gloria: No, tired of having a hot wife?

Gloria: Is that a leash?
Cam: It's a child safety tether.

We wouldn't be in the air, we'd be in rock n roll heaven!