Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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I have two brains in my body but I've never felt so dumb.

Gloria: The baby kicked me all night. It's either going to be a football player or a chorus girl.
Cam: You can be both. My senior year I was a right side linebacker and a left side cancan dancer in Gigi.

Claire listen to me. Take a lot of cash and when you flash it at the police, do not speak about it. Their eyes do all the talking, okay?

I have an angry baby inside of me making me do bad things!

I wrapped my son with one hand while driving a stick. I know how to keep my kid safe.

Gloria: I'm pregnant.
Claire: You're gonna get so fat!

Jay: Tired of walking in those heels?
Gloria: No, tired of having a hot wife?

Gloria: Is that a leash?
Cam: It's a child safety tether.

We wouldn't be in the air, we'd be in rock n roll heaven!

Haley: He's gonna ruin my party!
Gloria: Two birds, one bullet.

Jay: I don't know what they do in Columbia.
Gloria: No one does and don't ask.

I don't wanna be around when something that tight unravels.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 143 in total

Modern Family Quotes

What could be more natural than your mother’s tongue in your ear?

Gloria

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke