The Simpsons

Grampa Simpson Quotes (Page 10)

Bart: Nice try, Mr. Flanders. But I've got a story so scary you'll wet your pants!
Grampa: Too late.
 • Rating: Unrated

Homer: You're cute as a bug's ear.
Lisa: Fathers have to say that stuff!
Homer: Dad, am I cute as a bug's ear?
Grampa: No, you're homely as a mule's butt!
Homer: There, see?
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Well, we lost the money, but at least we still have each other.
Grampa: Hey, the dog's dead.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Bart and Lisa's breakfast with Grampa)
Grampa: (Pours Lisa a cup of coffee) Sugar?
Lisa: (Nervous) Yes, ten please.
Bart: (Rattlin') Hey Grampa, top me off!
Grampa: Are you sure your Ma let you kids drink coffee?
Bart: FOR THE LAST TIME, YES!!!!
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Well I was thinking... do you think you could babysit the kids this weekend, I wouldn't ask, but we're desperate.
Grampa: Oh suuuure! Last resort. Old Grandpa the feeb. The guy who can't be counted on for nothing knowhow dag-nammit. Everyone's against me! (Pause) I'll do it!
 • Rating: Unrated

(At the casino)
Grampa: Put it all on 41. (To Homer) I've got a feeling about that number.
Roulette Operator: The wheel only goes to 36, sir.
Grampa: Okay, put it all on 36! (To Homer) I've got a feeling about that number.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Grampa: Eh, what are you, uh, doing tonight?
Bea: Sitting alone in my room.
Grampa: (Disappointed) Oh, well, if you've got plans already--
 • Rating: Unrated

(At Bea's funeral.)
Homer: I can't tell you how sorry I am, Dad.
Grampa: (Sarcastically) Is someone talking to me? I didn't hear anything.
Homer: Oh no! Dad's lost his hearing!
 • Rating: Unrated

(Grampa mourns Bea alone in his room.)
Lionel Hutz: It was a beautiful service, wasn't it, Mr. Simpson?
Grampa: (Yells) Who the hell are you?
Lionel Hutz: Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law! I'm the executor of Beatrice Simmons' estate. Mr. Simpson, Bea was a wealthy woman and, surprise, surprise, she left everything to you.
Grampa: Really?
Lionel Hutz: There is one catch. You must spend one night ina haunted house!
Grampa: (Gasps)
Lionel Hutz: (Chuckles) Just kidding, just kidding.
 • Rating: Unrated

(Grampa rides a roller coaster alone.)
Grampa: I miss Bea.
(Bea's ghost appears in the seat next to Grampa.)
Bea: I miss you too.
Grampa: (Screams in fright)
Bea: Oh, Abraham, calm down. I'm not here to scare you. They've got me haunting a family in Texas.
 • Rating: Unrated

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