Grampa Simpson Quotes (Page 8)
Season 5, Episode 1: "Homer's Barbershop Quartet"
Grampa: Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O! And on this farm he had a chick, the swingingest' chick I know! With a wiggle wiggle here and a wiggle wiggle there.
Homer: Get of the stage!
Grampa: I want to, but I can't!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 20: "Whacking Day"
Lisa: How can you people turn on snakes after all they've done for you?
Grampa: I'm an old man, I hate everything but Matlock. Ooh, it's on now.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 19: "The Front"
Bart: Didn't you wonder why you were getting checks for doing nothing?
Grampa: I figured it was because the Demmie-crats were back in power.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Grampa: (Typing a letter) Dear Mr. President, there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. I am not a crackpot.
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Lisa: Grampa, how did you take off your underwear without taking off your pants?
Grampa: I don't know!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Roger Meyers, Jr.: Hey, how would you kids like a tour of the studio? Abe, are you coming?
Grampa: Any stairs?
Roger Meyers, Jr.: Just one.
Grampa: Nuts to you.
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Grampa: Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Secretary: Is this the Abraham Simpson who wrote the Itchy and Scratchy episode?
Grampa: Ishy and what? No, you must be some kind of crazy person.
Secretary: I'm sorry, but we have a substantial check here for a Mr. Abraham Simpson.
Grampa: That's right. I did the Iggy.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 18: "So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show"
Grampa: Why I go in and out of coma's all the .............. french toast please.
Lisa: Is a coma painful?
Grampa: Oh heck no. You relive long lost summers, kiss girls from high school. It's like one of those TV shows where they show a bunch of clips from old episodes.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 17: "Last Exit to Springfield"
Grampa: One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere, like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now, where were we? Oh yeah, the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 112
