Cougar Town

Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar town

Jules: Do her nipples look like mine?
Grayson: No.
Bobby: Yeah.
Bobby: Well, I got a hold of them before Trav did.

Grayson: Hey, where'd you go just now?
Jules: I was lying on the floor of the tub sobbing. You don't pee in that, right?

Ellie: Jules Cobb is the light of our group, and as she goes so goes the rest of us. For many years I have been the keeper of that light, but I now pass the torch to you.
Grayson: I'm only taking this torch because I love mime.

My life is Groundhog Day.

You can't pause people.

Grayson: There is no such thing as a happy stroke.
Jules: Then what did Kurt Douglas have?
Grayson: A stroke.

Grayson: It's actually illegal for me to sell after I close.
Ellie: That's why I'm not paying for it.

Grayson: You know when you're kissing Holly and she pushes her gum into your mouth and she sucks it back in? Why is that so hot?
Travis: Probably her big boobs.

Jules: You know what I learned from my friendship with Ellie?
Grayson: There's no such thing as too mean?
Travis: Never let your friends know for sure if you like them?
Jules: Always hold a grudge?

Jules: Way to go new guy.
Grayson: New guy? I am a key member of this group. I provide the sizzle.

Jules: Still, Ellie thinks she's horrible, and we all agree with her.
Grayson: Oh.

Grayson: You know, as a parent.
Jules: As a parent? You just found out you were a Dad 48 hours ago.
Ellie: Yeah, come down Day 2. Now, as a parent of several years what I think-
Jules: I'll let you finish that thought if you can tell me where your child is right now.
Ellie: I'm out.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 108 in total

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!

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