Cougar Town

Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar town

Jules: So you're telling me that you didn't wear kneepads because the other guys were making fun of you?
Grayson: And because I'm not a baby.

Ellie: Hey bartender how could you miss a question about bartending?
Grayson: I don't know. You missed the one about blood draining parasites.
Ellie: It's not the same.
Grayson: It is the same.

Cool! Wizard versus Nerd!

Andy: I volunteer at the women's shelter too. During self-defense classes, the women take turns kicking me in the crotch.
Grayson: So it's like a regular day at home for you.

Ellie: Whatcha got goin' on there Dime Eyes?
Grayson: A big bowl of "we can do this."

Now that he's dry, maybe we can cut little Wolverine's nails.

Bobby: You need to go hit it and quit it.
Andy: Toot it and boot it.
Laurie: Whip it and skip it.
Bobby: Wax it and tax it.
Andy: Mother it and smother it.
Laurie: Bop it and drop it.
Grayson: Chuck it and ... re-chuck it.
Laurie: Yours don't make any sense.

Suze Orman called with another investment tip. Bags...of...paint!

Grayson: That's the dumbest idea Laurie has ever had, and that includes the Gayke Shop.
Laurie: Find me a gay who doesn't like cake!

Trav: Dude why?
Grayson: Don't call me boy toy.

(to Jules) Just trying to give you a surprise. Why are you struggling?

Bobby: It's raining Kirstens?
Grayson: My Kirstonas?

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 108 in total

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!

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