Grayson: Like Children of the Corn.
Ellie: I crown you King of the Wussies.
Jules: They don't blink.
Ellie: I feel cold.
Grayson: Told ya!

Grayson: You're not my Mom.
Jules: Don't sass me! I am not in the mood.

Jules: So you're telling me that you didn't wear kneepads because the other guys were making fun of you?
Grayson: And because I'm not a baby.

Ellie: Hey bartender how could you miss a question about bartending?
Grayson: I don't know. You missed the one about blood draining parasites.
Ellie: It's not the same.
Grayson: It is the same.

Cool! Wizard versus Nerd!

Andy: I volunteer at the women's shelter too. During self-defense classes, the women take turns kicking me in the crotch.
Grayson: So it's like a regular day at home for you.

Ellie: Whatcha got goin' on there Dime Eyes?
Grayson: A big bowl of "we can do this."

Now that he's dry, maybe we can cut little Wolverine's nails.

Bobby: You need to go hit it and quit it.
Andy: Toot it and boot it.
Laurie: Whip it and skip it.
Bobby: Wax it and tax it.
Andy: Mother it and smother it.
Laurie: Bop it and drop it.
Grayson: Chuck it and ... re-chuck it.
Laurie: Yours don't make any sense.

Suze Orman called with another investment tip. Bags...of...paint!

Grayson: That's the dumbest idea Laurie has ever had, and that includes the Gayke Shop.
Laurie: Find me a gay who doesn't like cake!

Trav: Dude why?
Grayson: Don't call me boy toy.

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Ellie, I saw Andy's feet...I'm so sorry.
Ellie: No one understands.

Take OFF the mom goggles!

Laurie