Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCPopular Hayley Dunphy Quotes
Phil: I think what your mother is worried about is you getting your heart broken when Dylan goes off to college next year
Claire [same time]: That's not what I'm worried about...
Haley [same time]: Dylan's not going to college
Claire: He's not going to college?
Haley: He's in a band, they're going on tour
Claire: Oh this keeps getting better and better
Dede: I don't know what just happened.
Dylan: I do. I mean it seems pretty simple to me. You're reaching out, trying to hold onto something awesome.
Haley: Um maybe, maybe you shouldn't.
Dylan: Look, look, look, I'm not used to this, the whole "big family" thing. In my house, we don't even talk to each other. You know it's funny, the first time I saw Haley, I knew I liked her. I mean she's beautiful and everything, but it's it's not just that. She's got this killer confidence. You know, the kind of confidence that you get from having a family like this, that's passionate and accepting of hot foreigners, and gay dudes, and nutty people. You know, a family that actually loves each other
Haley: Okay, mom just doesn't trust me and it's not fair.
Phil: She trusts you, it's just the weird stuff that happens at concerts. Boys get urges.
Haley: Eww! Dad, is there something you want?
Phil: Yes, there is., to connect with this girl right here. Now come on, pretend I'm not your dad. We're just a couple of friends kickin' it in a juice bar.
Haley: What's a juice bar?
Phil: Okay a malt shop, whatever.
Haley: Dad, I don't...
Phil: No, who's dad, who's dad? I'm Marcus, from Biology. Hey Haley! How's it going with you and Dylan? Does he try anything inappropriate with you, girl?
Haley [answering her phone]: Hey. I don't know, nothing, just talking to some dork I met in a malt shop
Haley: Hey mom?
Claire: Yeah?
Haley: Can I have forty dollars for lunch?
Claire: Forty dollars?
Haley: I also need a book for school.
Claire: A book?
Haley: I want a dress.
Claire: Do you have any idea what a bad liar you are?
Alex: I'd be more worried that she couldn't come up with a single book title
Alex: Did you know fencing goes back to the 12th century?
Haley: You know what's even nerdier than fencing? knowing when it began
Luke: I don't think you're a nerd, Alex
Alex: Shut up dork
Every time I go over to grandpa's, Manny just stares at me the whole time.
Haley
Haley: This is kind of an important party.
Jay: The last thing you to do is insult someone when they invite you.
Haley: Exactly.
[Jay walks out]
Haley: OMG. That was so easy.
Alex: You really don't understand what just happened, do you?
Phil: Goodbye Dunphy Christmas. Haley, I guess you're not getting that car.
Haley: I was getting a car?
Phil: No, I was lying. Because that's what Dunphys do now, we're liars.
Alex: Haley, found your jacket.
Haley: WHY IS EVERYONE ON ME?
Never getting my driver's license, or getting one and the picture sucks.
Haley [on her biggest fear]
Haley: Oh my God, gross, I can't even picture you with a woman.
Claire: Thank you.
Phil: Kids, get down here!
Haley: Why are you guys yelling at us? We were way upstairs, just text me.
Claire: Alright, that's not going to happen and...wow, you're not wearing that outfit.
Haley: What's wrong with it?
Claire [to Phil]: Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter about her skirt?
Phil: Sorry. Oh yeah, it looks really cute sweetheart.
Haley: Thanks.
Claire [to Haley]: No, it's way too short. People know you're a girl; you don't need to prove it to them
