Jay Pritchett Quotes
Jay: How much longer do I have to listen to the Julia Child impression?
Phil: For as long as it's still funny.
Jay: I think the timer just went off on that.
Phil: It's the 21st century. You should get a pair.
Jay: I was gonna suggest the same thing.
Manny: If I'm sick, I might get the chaperone sick. And without the chaperone, it's anarchy! The buddy system falls apart; the principal of last-in, first-out is ignored.
Jay: It's butterflies.
Jay: Want some coffee?
Manny: Say yes. It's french press. I was doubtful too, but I honestly can't see myself going back to drip.
Gloria: Where I come from, brothers respect each other.
Jay: That's why Colombia is such a peaceful country.
I'm gonna walk like a man... right to that bar. That would be hilarious if you were familiar with Frankie Valli.
Manny: Hump day, am I right, Jay?
Jay: Your day ends at 2:30.
I was drunk, I'm not going shopping with Priscilla Queen of the Desert.
Manny: I made a reference to The Wiggles and it went right over her head.
Jay: I don't know what that means.
Manny: It's an expression. It means she didn't get it.
Gloria: Tell them we don't want our bodies inside these drawers where God cannot find us.
Jay: These aren't like our drawers at home. People can find stuff here.
There's enough not to like about death without adding dirt and worms.
Manny: Jay, haven't you noticed the spring in my step?
Jay: Oh, kids say cruel things, that doesn't mean you'll turn out that way.
Manny: No, we have something in common. I'm seeing a younger woman.