Gloria: Tell them we don't want our bodies inside these drawers where God cannot find us.
Jay: These aren't like our drawers at home. People can find stuff here.

There's enough not to like about death without adding dirt and worms.

Manny: Jay, haven't you noticed the spring in my step?
Jay: Oh, kids say cruel things, that doesn't mean you'll turn out that way.
Manny: No, we have something in common. I'm seeing a younger woman.

You know, when you get a massage, you sound like a Tijuana prostitute.

Manny: Baby Bear's a girl? We have to do it over! I would have played it totally different.
Jay: You nailed it.

Five course dinner waiting for us at home and she's strapping on the feedbag at Ibiza.

There's no reason you should stay upright, but it just works.

Two thirds of my house can't do what a billion Chinese do.

Stephen Hawking could ride that bike.

Pretty soon you get some hair on your chest, you start answering the phone, and people don't think you're ladies.

Jay: Flag on the play.
Manny: What does that mean?!?

You'd think growing up in a place full of death squads and drunken uncles, she'd have learned to move a little bit faster.