Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Five course dinner waiting for us at home and she's strapping on the feedbag at Ibiza.

There's no reason you should stay upright, but it just works.

Two thirds of my house can't do what a billion Chinese do.

Stephen Hawking could ride that bike.

Pretty soon you get some hair on your chest, you start answering the phone, and people don't think you're ladies.

Jay: Flag on the play.
Manny: What does that mean?!?

You'd think growing up in a place full of death squads and drunken uncles, she'd have learned to move a little bit faster.

I'm just saying you were never much of a kid. And that's a good thing 'cause I never liked kids.

Manny: Where did I hear that siren?
Jay: That was your mother screaming.
Gloria: I wasn't that bad.
Jay: Cars were pulling over.

Jay: We finish each other's sentences. Like, tonight we are going to... Gloria: Have so much fun!

This whole thing is a colossal fog cue.

Gloria: I took him to a farm where he has plenty of room to run.
Jay: That's the second thing they say when something's dead.

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 203 in total