Jay Pritchett Quotes
Jay: I don't know what they do in Columbia.
Gloria: No one does and don't ask.
First of all, that lady is my son.
Remember that time I told you I couldn't make your figure skating competition because I was stuck at work? By stuck I meant drunk and by work I meant the golf course!
Isn't it enough this family spends a lot of time together? Now we have to inbreed?
Stop acting like I'm some staunchy old coot! I've grown.
I can't express to you how badly this kid needs football.
You came out of the womb like that. I'm not entirely sure there wasn't a twin in there that you bumped off.
Sometimes the best thing to do in a race to the top is grease the pole behind you.
This is a lot of hocus pocus, I can't believe I bought a coffee cake over this!!!
Hey what do you say we cut our losses? Let's go out to a nice Chinese restaurant and have a traditional Jewish Christmas.
Cam: Why so much tape Jay?
Jay: Why are you wearing a sweater when it's 95 degrees out?
Cam: It's my Christmas sweater!
Jay: Based on those stains, you are the Christmas sweater.
You two needed time with your mom, I've already served time with your mom.