Jay Pritchett Quotes (Page 12)
Season 1, Episode 6: "Run For Your Wife"
Gloria: Hay is very spontaneous. He's always surprising me with little presents, fun getaways
Jay: I wasn't the greatest husband the first time around. I'm trying to do better this time around. And maybe by my third marriage I'll have it down pat. Yeah, that one's gonna cost me
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Manny: How's my hair?
Jay: Hold on, what are you wearing there? That looks like an old Christmas tree skirt
Manny: It's a traditional Colombian pioncho, I want my new classmates to know I'm proud of my heritage
Gloria: I think you look very handsome, lindo!
Jay: Oh really? Am I driving him to school or is he gonna ride his burro?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 5: "Coal Digger"
Gloria: Who's side are you on?
Jay: She's my daughter, you're my wife. Let's remember what's important, there's a football game on today
• Rating: Unrated
Jay: I don't like watching football with people that don't care about the game, they talk
Manny: You talk during my football games
Jay: For one thing it's called soccer and your team scored two goals all season, I'm not risking much
• Rating: Unrated
Jay [to Manny]: Let's go buddy, it's school time. Oh, and Gloria, if you want to get together with the girls later I can just, you know, watch the football game or something.
Manny: That means he wants to watch a football game.
Jay: I'm not talkin' to you. And what're you drinking coffee for anyway?
Manny: It's my culture, I'm Colombian.
Jay: Oh yeah, what part of Colombia are those French toaster sticks from?
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Jay: No, see this is exactly why we sweep things under the rug. So, people don't get hurt.
Phil: Well, yeah, until you sweep too much under the rug. Then you have a lumpy rug... creates a tripping hazard...and open yourself up to lawsuits. Boy, you can go a really long time without blinking
• Rating: 4.7 / 5.0
Season 1, Episode 4: "The Incident"
Gloria: Jay, I'm home. Did Manny call?
Jay: No, because he's fine. It was a slumber party, not a gang fight.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Jay: What's up!
Mitchell: Uh, well you know, uh, moms in town.
Jay: Your mom?
Mitchell: No, no your mom. She's back from the grave. Yes, yes my mom, dad.
Jay: My mom would be less scary
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Phil [to Manny]: Nice moustache
Jay: Don't make fun of him or he'll burn your house down
• Rating: Unrated
Gloria: I'm taking a shower, would you like to join me?
Jay: Honey, you know there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage, if I ever say no, I want you to use it on me
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 131
