Thursdays 8:00 PM on NBC

Damn them and their perfectly crafted time pieces!

I thought this was America, not Arizona.

Carl, I see you've grown a new douchebag.

Quick impression--waaaa. Who am I? You guys.

Britta: Jeff, why are people staring at you?
Jeff: Because they've never seen a man who's had sex before?

Pierce: If you knew what spooked me, you'd probably call me crazy and old.
Jeff: No one's going to call you, Pierce.

Do you know how long someone who is as sarcastic as I am would last in prison? Suuuuuuch a long time.

Also when you die you go all the way back to the study room, so don't die.

Dammit, I thought we could count on Britta not to screw up drinking.

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