It was perfect. Like a John Mayer song.

It's funny — all my 'aha!' moments end with a mustache pushed against me!

But those were my majors at the Royal Tampa Academy of Dramatic Tricks!

Liz, I am happy. All this attention, getting my picture taken, having ice cold diarrhea from drinking too much Jamba Juice.

You don't know that thing I'm sleeping in isn't working.

They're calling us 'James,' which is a combination of 'Jenna' and 'James.'

Jenna: [on fake-dating James] Do you believe they came to me before Aida from Real World: Cancun?

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I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I've always wondered why you guys just don't take the door off its hinges.

Drama is gay man Gatorade. It replenishes their electrolytes.

I once took a low-volume shower with Ed Begley, Jr. What else can I do?

There are no rules. It's like check-in at an Italian sex party.

Who cares if Kenneth is bitter? He's an underhuman.

30 Rock Quotes

Hey, nerds! Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? [pointing thumbs at self] This moi.


Typical liberal media. That's why I get all my news from Dick Cheney's web site,