Jenna: Kenneth, take this card and get a cake for the crew.
Kenneth: Oh that's very thoughtful Ms. Maroney.
Jenna: Well one of the camera guys just had a baby, and I'm sick of hearing about it. This will put me back on top.

Jack: Jenna, have you been drinking?
Jenna: No, Jack. Well I had a bottle of wine with dinner.

Jenna: President O'Bama, in your own words, why are you a terrorist that hates America?
Tracy: That's an excellent question...Uh oh, I'm doing something called "breaking" Blahahahaha. Snort. Heehee. Giggle giggle. The audience loves this!

You're the real stars! Not really.

Kenneth: Oh and the Chilean miners are all out and they're very angry about what you've been saying about them.
Jenna: So I guess they're geniuses for getting stuck in a mine?

Kenneth: A Mr. Brett Fav-ray stopped by and dropped off this picture of a hot dog.
Jenna: Finally.

You embarrassed me in front of all the other mothers! If you think you're going to Sizzler tonight Jenna, you've got another thing coming!

Just a pageant? That's like say a guy is cool 'cause he has just a speedboat.

The writers can't take a car service at night anymore. I've crunched the numbers and it's cheaper for us to just replace anyone who gets murdered.

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