Yes, if you don't like it you can leave. This isn't Eric Roberts' teepee.

I didn't give up when Eric Roberts abandoned me in the desert and I won't now.

Liz: Why are you talking so fast?
Jenna: Because I'm upset. Also I've been taking these new Czechoslovakian organ slimming pills. They contain a little bit of meth, which is something my body needs anyway.

Someone get a PA to feed me baby food or I will drop a d in the green room.

It's about the party! I want to eat shrimp off an old gay dressed as baby new year.

Last night was a disaster...and not the good kind where I get to sing at a benefit.

Jenna: Marriage is like death. You still into a routine. You lose all the spark.
Liz: I don't know. I always thought the whole point of being with someone for a long time is to get to the comfortable routine part.
Jenna: No. Relationships are like sharks, Liz. If you're not left with several bite marks after intercourse, then something's wrong.

And I will say yes when Paul proposes...that we make a sex tape and leak it on the internet.

Jenna: I'm the hot blonde...
Tracy: And I'm the nerd who takes off his glasses and everyone realizes he's handsome.

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