Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quotes (Page 40)

Jerry: (about the marathon) Ah, what's to see? A woman from Norway, a guy from Kenya and 20,000 losers.
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Jerry: (to Kramer) You're not normal. I love you, but you're a pod.
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Jerry: You have no idea what an idiot is.
George: Is that right? I just threw away a life time of guilt free sex and floor seats for every sporting event at Madison Square Gardens. So please, a little respect, for I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots.
Roxanne: (cheering on marathon runners You're all winners!
George: But suddenly, a new contender has emerged.
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Elaine: She died?Jerry: She died.Elaine: She died!!
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Roxanne: The marathon is great, isn't it?Jerry: Yes, particularly if you're not in it.
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Kramer: Tell me the truth: have you ever seen a better looking guy?
Jerry: Looks are so subjective.
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Harold: It's a good thing her rent was overdue. She'd be rotting up there for a month.
Jerry: She died? Mrs. Hudwalker died?
Harold: Ninety-four years old. I found her yesterday. She didn't have a wig on It was horrifying.
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Jerry: The problem with talking is that nobody stops you from saying the wrong thing. I think life would be a lot better if it was like you're always making a movie. You mess up, somebody just walks on the set, and stops the whole shot. You know what I mean? Think of the things you wish you could take back. You're out somewhere with people, 'Gee, you look pregnant are ya?' 'Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, that's not gonna work at all. Walk out the door, and come back in. Let's take this whole scene again. People, think about what you're saying!'
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Jerry: She's right in my building! Right above me! Every time I come in the building, I'm gonna have to sneak around like a cat burglar.
George: You're doomed. You're gonna have to have all your sex at women's apartments. It'll be like a permanent road trip. Forget about the home bed advantage.
Jerry: But I need the home bed advantage!
George: Of course, we all do.
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Jerry: Come in (the coffee shop) for two minutes and sit with me.
George: I was just in there. It's embarrassing.
Jerry: Oh, who's gonna know?
George: They saw me walk out.
 • Rating: Unrated

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