Seinfeld

Jerry Seinfeld Quotes (Page 42)

Jerry: How are we going to get out of it?
George: We'll say we're frightened and we have to go home.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Jerry: This jacket has completely changed my life.
George: Can I say one thing to you? And I say this with an unblemished record of staunched heterosexuality. It's fabulous.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Jerry: I had a leather jacket that got ruined. Now, why does moisture ruin leather? I don't get this. Aren't cows outside most of the time? I don't understand it. When it's raining do cows go up to the farmhouse, "Let us in, we're all wearing leather. Open the door! We're gonna ruin the whole outfit here!" "Is it suede?" "I am suede, the whole thing is suede, I can't have this cleaned. It's all I got!"
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jerry: I didn't know she had a pony. How was I to know she had a pony? Who figures an immigrant's going to have a pony? Do you know what the odds are on that? I mean, in all the pictures I saw of immigrants on boats coming into New York harbor, I never saw one of them sitting on a pony. Why would anybody come here if they had a pony? Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country? It doesn't make sense.. am I wrong?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jerry: If I have to sit next to Uncle Leo, I am leaving, He's always grabbin' my arm when he talks to me. That's probably because so many people have left in the middle of his conversation.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: (to Monya) These peas are bursting with country fresh flavor.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jerry: I don't even know them. What is she, your second cousin? I mean, I've met them three times in my life.
Morty: I don't know her either. She makes me fly all the way from Florida for this, and then she criticizes my jacket.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: He talks about him like he split the atom. He works for the Parks Department.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kramer: You don't think I can do it.
Jerry: I know that you can't, and I'm positive that you won't.
 • Rating: Unrated

Elaine: And what about the pony huh? What kind of abnormal animal is that?
Jerry: They're like big riding dogs.
 • Rating: Unrated

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