Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
Elaine: C'mon lets go, c'mon
Jerry: Was I supposed to bring something?
Elaine: You could have.
Jerry: I met her one time
Elaine: It is not necessary.
- Permalink: C'mon lets go, c'mon Was I supposed to bring something? You ...
Elaine: Hi Pamela, you remember Jerry.
Pamela: Yes, we met.
Jerry: Hi, happy birthday.
Pamela: Ahh, everybody, this is Elaine and Jerry.
Jerry: I didn't bring anything.
- Permalink: Hi Pamela, you remember Jerry. Yes, we met. Hi, happy birthd...
Vanessa: How big a tip do you think it'd take to get him to stop?
Jerry: I'm in for five.
Vanessa: I'll supply the hat.
Jerry: (to himself) Uh-oh. What do we have here?
- Permalink: How big a tip do you think it'd take to get him to stop? I'm i...
Vanessa: Why don't you relax and take your jacket off?
Jerry: Oh, I can't. I have a tendency to get chilly.
Vanessa: How masculine.
Jerry: Plus I'm wearing short sleeves. I don't want to expose my tattoos.
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Sagman, Bennet, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft.
- Permalink: Sagman, Bennet, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft.
(to himself) What's going on here? Gotta be her boyfriend, she's too good to be alone. What's the difference, I can't maneuver anyway with Elaine next to me.
- Permalink: What's going on here? Gotta be her boyfriend, she's too good to ...
Imagine, spelling "Mom" with two O's.
- Permalink: Imagine, spelling Mom with two O's.
Jerry: "Quone"? No, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to challenge that.
(Jerry picks up the dictionary.)
Kramer: No, you don't have to challenge that. That's a word. That's a definite word.
Jerry: I am challenging.
Kramer: Quone. To quone something.
(Jerry looks up the word.)
Helen: I'm not playing with you anymore.
Morty: Quone's not a word.
Jerry: No good. Sorry. There it is. Get it off.
Helen: (to Kramer) Why did you make me put that down?
Kramer: Nah, we need a medical dictionary! If a patient gets difficult, you quone him.
- Permalink: Quone? 3031 Quone? No, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to ...
George: Listen, your stuff has to be done by know, why don't you just see if it's dried?
Jerry: No, no, no, don't interrupt the cycle. The machine is working, it, it knows what it's doing, just let it finish.
George: You're gonna over dry it.
Jerry: You, you can't over dry.
George: Why not?
Jerry: Same as you can't over wet. You see, once something is wet, it's wet. Same thing with dead: like once you die you're dead, right? Let's say you drop dead and I shoot you: you're not gonna die again, you're already dead. You can't over die, you can't over dry.
- Permalink: Listen, your stuff has to be done by know, why don't you just se...
George: Ho ho ho, "Had to"? "Had to come in"?
Jerry: Yeah, but
George: "Had to come in" and "maybe we'll get together"? "Had to" and "Maybe"?
George: Nonono, I hate to tell you this: you're not gonna see this woman.
- Permalink: Ho ho ho, Had to? Had to come in? Yeah, but Had to come in a...
Women know what men want,men know what men want. What do we want? We want women!
- Permalink: Women know what men want,men know what men want. What do we want...
Kramer (Kessler): You got any meat?
Jerry: Meat? I don't, I don't know, go hunt!
- Permalink: You got any meat? Meat? I don't, I don't know, go hunt!
Elaine: (referring to Dr. Reston) He's like a Svenjolly.
Elaine: What did I say?
Elaine: Svenjolly? I did not say Svenjolly.
George: Svenjolly. (licking some peanut butter off his finger)
Elaine: I don't see how I could've said Svenjolly.
Jerry: Well, maybe he's got, like, a cheerful mental hold on you.
- Permalink: He's like a Svenjolly. Svengali. What did I say? Svenjolly...
I can't get a massage from a man.George
- Permalink: I can't get a massage from a man.