Jess Day Quotes
Jess: Drinking to be cool, Nick? That's not a real thing.
Nick: That's the only thing in the world I know to be true.
Why are you talking to me like a James Taylor song?
Jess: Oh my god! I thought he was taking you to jail!
Nick: Naw, it's resort jail, and it's not so bad. They let me watch "Ugly Betty."
Jess: How many times a day does Schmidt text you?
Nick: Oh, no, just like...40.
Jess: What's next? What do we do?
Nick: I'm really fighting the urge to buy you a lobster dinner.
I don't think the badger's actually rabid, I think he's just kind of a dick.
Burquas isn't you guys, is it?
Life's messy. It kicks you in the ass. That's right, I said ass.
Jess: The only anti-depressant you need is in my pants!
Guy: It's really a medical issue.
So, would you like to freak?
You question my pajamas? You make me question our entire friendship!
Jess: If we're all really honest with ourselves, isn't it all about the gonads? Am I right, ladies?