New Girl
Tuesdays 8:30 PM on FOXJess Day Quotes
Life's messy. It kicks you in the ass. That's right, I said ass.
Jess: The only anti-depressant you need is in my pants!
Guy: It's really a medical issue.
So, would you like to freak?
You question my pajamas? You make me question our entire friendship!
Jess: If we're all really honest with ourselves, isn't it all about the gonads? Am I right, ladies?
Ladies: No!
I am throwing Cece's surprise bachelorette party here tonight, and the only males invited are strippers, so oil up or get out, guys.
Why are you wearing a suit? Did you just apply for a loan or somethng?
Jess: I didn't really know your dad, except for that one hour when I committed fraud with him.
Nick: That's all there is to know.
Jess: This is where Nick Miller grew up.
Nick: Except for the fall of '88 and the spring of '89--that was our "van year."
When did you become a Bond villain who can't afford to not live with roommates?
Just remember, you caught him pleasuring himself to a mail-order steak catalog.
What happened to guys in this bar? Did they open a bus station next door?
