Jim Halpert Quotes
Jim: Wait. We haven't gone under. We've been sold. That could mean many different things.
Michael: It's hard for me to imagine a scenario in which Meredith Palmer keeps her job and David Wallace does not. No offense Meredith.
Meredith: No, I get it.
- Permalink: Wait. We haven't gone under. We've been sold. That could mean ma...
Michael: How's everybody doing?
Jim: Not great. You heckled Santa for an hour and a half.
Michael: That was a different guy. That was Jesus. Jesus ruined the party. Petulant Jesus.
Angela: Are you serious? That is so offensive.
- Permalink: How's everybody doing? Not great. You heckled Santa for an hou...
Jim: You can't yell out "I need this, I need this" as you pin down an employee on your lap.
Michael: Okay. You know what Jim, there are two Santas in the room. Things get ruthless!
Michael: Do you understand you forced my hand.
- Permalink: You can't yell out I need this, I need this as you pin down an e...
Michael: It's insane! A woman Santa, where does it stop? No! Jim, this may be the last Christmas that we have here, doesn't it make you a tiny bit anxious, me NOT playing Santa? Come on!
Jim: I'm not gonna go tell Phyllis that she can't be Santa.
Michael: Fine! Then do it anonymously. Ransom note style. You can ... I ... you know what, I have a bunch of letters cut out of magazines in my desk. You can use those.
- Permalink: It's insane! A woman Santa, where does it stop? No! Jim, this ma...
Pam: So Santa, what can we expect from this party?
Phyllis: It's going to be a very jolly time if you've been good!
Creed: What if you've been bad?
Phyllis: Oh, then nothing but a lump of coal for you!
Creed: What if you've been really, really bad? Like more evil, and strictly wrong.
Jim: Okay, Creed, we covered it. Lump of coal.
Phyllis: Yeah ...
- Permalink: So Santa, what can we expect from this party? It's going to be...
Phyllis: You didn't decorate it?
Jim: We didn't, because we think it'd be better to do it together.
Andy: Why would you wrap it in a sheet, if you're not covering anything up?
Pam: Is it ... is it fake?
Dwight: Yes, we are unveiling, an artificial tree, that will never die...
Dwight: Like the spirit of Christmas!
Stanley: We're supposed to applaud you for taking a giant diaper off fake tree?
Dwight: This was a successful unveiling! Go back to work! Merry Christmas!
- Permalink: You didn't decorate it? No. Exactly. We didn't, because we...
Dwight: It is time to unveil the tree.
Oscar: Hey, Rockefeller Center!
Ryan: Uh, I have actually been to Rock Center, and this is nothing like that.
Jim: This is all we have.
- Permalink: It is time to unveil the tree. Hey, Rockefeller Center! Yeah...
Dwight: Heyy! Jimmy, what's up?
Jim: Not much.
Dwight: Cool! Very cool. I bet if you tried, you could grow the best beard of anyone in this office!
Jim: Thanks Dwight.
Dwight: That laugh is so infectious!
Michael: Creepin' me out. I'm gonna go.
Dwight: I didn't mean any of those things I just said.
- Permalink: Heyy! Jimmy, what's up? Not much. Cool! Very cool. I bet if ...
Okay, ladies and gentlemen, welcome! I know you're all very excited but, no matter who gets this, I just wanna say that you guys are all employees of the month in my eyes.
- Permalink: Okay, ladies and gentlemen, welcome! I know you're all very exci...