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Jim: Really?
Pam: [in character] It wasn't me. I ain't goin' down for this!
Jim: I want to go home.
Pam: Get the keys out of my purse and start the car.

Jim: I'm just gonna skip the what and go right to why.
Michael: Because this is the recreation of a crime scene!
Meredith: I'm the dead body and these are my brain chunks.
Dwight: Shut up, you're dead.

Pam: I think Michael may have snapped.
Jim: Or maybe he's just stuck in character.
Pam: Which is worse? Snapped or stuck?
Jim: Both. They're both worse.

Michael: Tube city. You owe me one.
Jim: [interview] Co-managing is a give and take. You have to pick your battles. One of the battles I picked was Michael's idea of running plastic tubes all over the office with hamsters inside of them. He called it Tube City. So, yes, I do owe him one.

Jim: Okay, we need to do something. People are freaking out wondering what's going to happen.
Michael: You're right. They need something. A distraction. Anything new on YouTube? Doesn't have to be good.

Once a year Dwight holds a seminar for us on karate. Because one thing we know that thousand-year-old martial arts do each year is ... change.

Jim: In everyone's defense I think the most worthy opponent of you is ... you.
Dwight: That is correct. Unless there happen to be measles present.

Michael: And then, I think I am going to go to the garlic festival.
Jim: Wow.
Michael: Sounds like fun. You guys would love it. They have a TCBY booth! Same stuff you get downtown. Do you like TCBY?
Jim: Who doesn't?
Michael: "I can't believe it's... I can't believe it's yogurt."

Darryl: You're not as scary as Bookface over there.
Jim: Yes. I am the popular social networking site known as Bookface.

Oscar: Jim, did Michael fall into a koi pond?
Jim: Mmmmm... it's like Michael said, it was, um... something else.
Michael: It was ... okay, this is what it was. It was these bunch of idiots who put a fish tank in the ground with no cover, and no railing.
Angela: So you fell in.
Michael: No, maybe I was trying to save a child that had fallen in.
Angela: So a child had fallen in?
Michael: Not yet.

Michael: Any messages?
Erin: You're soaking wet.
Michael: Jim and I got caught in a little flash... rain. Flash winds, flash lightning.
Phyllis: Wow. Sounds scary.
Michael: It was. It was. And then in an instant, it wasn't!
Angela: Why isn't Jim wet?
Jim: I... outran it.
Meredith: I don't think it rained. My hip would be throbbing.
Michael: It rained.
Dwight: Michael, can I get you something? A towel, some cocoa?
Michael Scott: Nothing. Cocoa.

Truthfully, it wasn't the way he fell in, it was... how long it took him to get out.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 442 in total

The Office Quotes

In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all...it's fear. Merry Christmas.

Dwight

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael