Jim Halpert Quotes
Pam: [in character] It wasn't me. I ain't goin' down for this!
Jim: I want to go home.
Pam: Get the keys out of my purse and start the car.
Jim: I'm just gonna skip the what and go right to why.
Michael: Because this is the recreation of a crime scene!
Meredith: I'm the dead body and these are my brain chunks.
Dwight: Shut up, you're dead.
Pam: I think Michael may have snapped.
Jim: Or maybe he's just stuck in character.
Pam: Which is worse? Snapped or stuck?
Jim: Both. They're both worse.
Michael: Tube city. You owe me one.
Jim: [interview] Co-managing is a give and take. You have to pick your battles. One of the battles I picked was Michael's idea of running plastic tubes all over the office with hamsters inside of them. He called it Tube City. So, yes, I do owe him one.
Jim: Okay, we need to do something. People are freaking out wondering what's going to happen.
Michael: You're right. They need something. A distraction. Anything new on YouTube? Doesn't have to be good.
Once a year Dwight holds a seminar for us on karate. Because one thing we know that thousand-year-old martial arts do each year is ... change.
Jim: In everyone's defense I think the most worthy opponent of you is ... you.
Dwight: That is correct. Unless there happen to be measles present.
Michael: And then, I think I am going to go to the garlic festival.
Michael: Sounds like fun. You guys would love it. They have a TCBY booth! Same stuff you get downtown. Do you like TCBY?
Jim: Who doesn't?
Michael: "I can't believe it's... I can't believe it's yogurt."
Darryl: You're not as scary as Bookface over there.
Jim: Yes. I am the popular social networking site known as Bookface.
Oscar: Jim, did Michael fall into a koi pond?
Jim: Mmmmm... it's like Michael said, it was, um... something else.
Michael: It was ... okay, this is what it was. It was these bunch of idiots who put a fish tank in the ground with no cover, and no railing.
Angela: So you fell in.
Michael: No, maybe I was trying to save a child that had fallen in.
Angela: So a child had fallen in?
Michael: Not yet.
Michael: Any messages?
Erin: You're soaking wet.
Michael: Jim and I got caught in a little flash... rain. Flash winds, flash lightning.
Phyllis: Wow. Sounds scary.
Michael: It was. It was. And then in an instant, it wasn't!
Angela: Why isn't Jim wet?
Jim: I... outran it.
Meredith: I don't think it rained. My hip would be throbbing.
Michael: It rained.
Dwight: Michael, can I get you something? A towel, some cocoa?
Michael Scott: Nothing. Cocoa.
Truthfully, it wasn't the way he fell in, it was... how long it took him to get out.