Jim Halpert Quotes
Michael: It's insane! A woman Santa, where does it stop? No! Jim, this may be the last Christmas that we have here, doesn't it make you a tiny bit anxious, me NOT playing Santa? Come on!
Jim: I'm not gonna go tell Phyllis that she can't be Santa.
Michael: Fine! Then do it anonymously. Ransom note style. You can ... I ... you know what, I have a bunch of letters cut out of magazines in my desk. You can use those.
Pam: So Santa, what can we expect from this party?
Phyllis: It's going to be a very jolly time if you've been good!
Creed: What if you've been bad?
Phyllis: Oh, then nothing but a lump of coal for you!
Creed: What if you've been really, really bad? Like more evil, and strictly wrong.
Jim: Okay, Creed, we covered it. Lump of coal.
Phyllis: Yeah ...
Phyllis: You didn't decorate it?
Jim: We didn't, because we think it'd be better to do it together.
Andy: Why would you wrap it in a sheet, if you're not covering anything up?
Pam: Is it ... is it fake?
Dwight: Yes, we are unveiling, an artificial tree, that will never die...
Dwight: Like the spirit of Christmas!
Stanley: We're supposed to applaud you for taking a giant diaper off fake tree?
Dwight: This was a successful unveiling! Go back to work! Merry Christmas!
Dwight: It is time to unveil the tree.
Oscar: Hey, Rockefeller Center!
Ryan: Uh, I have actually been to Rock Center, and this is nothing like that.
Jim: This is all we have.
Dwight: Heyy! Jimmy, what's up?
Jim: Not much.
Dwight: Cool! Very cool. I bet if you tried, you could grow the best beard of anyone in this office!
Jim: Thanks Dwight.
Dwight: That laugh is so infectious!
Michael: Creepin' me out. I'm gonna go.
Dwight: I didn't mean any of those things I just said.
Okay, ladies and gentlemen, welcome! I know you're all very excited but, no matter who gets this, I just wanna say that you guys are all employees of the month in my eyes.
Dwight: Also, this should be accompanied by a monetary prize.
Jim: Well, in an ideal world-
Dwight: In an ideal world I would have all 10 fingers on my left hand so my right hand could just be a fist for punching.
Pam: I can't really imagine you yelling at anyone.
Jim: Oh I yell. You've heard me yell.
Pam: Oh okay. I've heard you exclaim? Like, the time you said, "Hey look! We parked over here!"
Jim: Well that was apple-picking day. There was no need to yell that day. I was just excited to find the car. Perfect end to a perfect day.
Pam: Well. You'll figure it out.
Jim: I gotta make an example out of him. Should I just fire him?
Pam: Can you actually fire people?
Jim: To be honest I don't know. But maybe I could just yell at him in front of people.
Andy: I'm so jealous right now.
Michael: Hey, you know who you shouldn't be jealous of. Yourself. Because you're invited, and you're invited, and you're invited, and you, you and you and you, and you--
Limo driver: Car seats eight.
Limo driver: The car seats eight.
Michael: The limo seats eight.
Michael: Okay. Then Jim and Pam. And Ryan plus a guest.
Jim and Pam: No thanks.
Ryan: I'll use it when you're done.
Jim: Let me show you what I mean. Your new office. How great is that, right? For a job well done, well, not done.
Ryan: I will, uh, I will do my work, right now. I will stay late tonight.
Ryan: Um, I'm very sorry. About everything.
Jim: You're a good kid. You know what, it gets bigger once you're in there. Enjoy.
Ryan: Is there Internet?
Jim: I just figured you needed a place where you could concentrate. And not be bothered by... bothering people.