South Park

Jimbo Kern Quotes

Jimbo: How many rich people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None! They can hire someone to screw it in for them!
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Garrison: Now we can sell all their homes and become millionares.
Guys: WHAT?!?!?!?!
Jimbo: But then you had us all do all that for nothing, don't you see if you get rich selling these homes then there'd still be rich people in South Park.
Randy Marsh: Yeah, you'll become what you hate.
Mr. Garrison:........Yeah but at least I got rid of all those damn ni[South Park ending theme]
 • Rating: Unrated

Jimbo: Well, son, I think you've got a pretty stupid plan there.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jimbo: Eric! Are you training that pony to please you?!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jimbo: What's a 'Radiohead?'
Cartman: You know, that band that sings that song (sings) 'Well, I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo...'
 • Rating: Unrated

Jimbo: Wow, those are greatNed, are you jackin' it?!
Ned: Kinda.
(Mr. Tenorman comes outside)
Mr. Tenorman: Who's out there?
Jimbo: (whispering) Dammit Ned, stop jackin' it.
Ned: I can't.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Randy: That word's kind of getting old. It's not really funny anymore.
Man: Yeah, they're gonna have to come up with a new swear word now.
Mr. Garrison: Well, they can't use "fag." Because you can't say "fag" unless you're a homosexual.
Randy: Really? So we can't say (bleep)?
Mr. Garrison: No. See, you got beeped.
Man: You mean you have to be a (bleep) to say (bleep)?
Mr. Garrison: That's right.
Jimbo: Hell, that's not fair! I should be able to say "fag."
Randy: Hey, you didn't get beeped.
Jimbo: Uh, oh.
Mr. Garrison: Well well well! Guess we learned something new about you, Jimbo, you freakin' fag! You wanna make out or something?
 • Rating: Unrated

Mayor McDaniels: (to Jimbo and Chef) Gentlemen, I understand you are here to present both sides of an issue. I want to hear you both out and do this in a civil and constructive manner, so I can give you both the time and attention you deserve. Jimbo why don't you begin.
Jimbo: Mayor, it's about the South Park flag
Mayor McDaniels: Oh Jesus Christ, not this again.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jimbo: This is about history kids. If you don't have respect for your past then you can never expect...BIRD! (shoots down bird) Then you can never expect to have a future.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jimbo: People are gonna' start saying that the Denver Broncos are offensive to horses and then we'll have to SQUIRREL! (shoots down squirrel) Then we'll have to change everything.
 • Rating: Unrated

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