Joey: What's the matter, Ross? You nervous about your speech?
Ross: Nope. (Pause) You wanna hear it?
Joey: Am I in it?
Ross: Ya huh. Yeah, right after I thank everyone for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey.

Joey: You hide my underwear, I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of stealing somebody's underpants!
Joey: Look at me, I'm Chandler. Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...

Joey: All right, they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider.
Chandler: Taste it.
Joey: (Joey takes a drink) Yeah, it's fat. I drank fat!
Chandler: Yeah I know, I did that two minutes ago.

Chandler: (Uncomfortably, about sitting on Joey) I am so comfortable.
Joey: Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable ...
Chandler: All right. (Jumps up)

Ross: Joey, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?
Joey: Cause I'm not wearing any underwear now.
Ross: Um, okay ... then, why do you have to wear underwear tonight?
Joey: Cause it's a rented tux, okay? I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues!

(Joey won't get off Chandlers chair)
Joey: All right! You can have the chair.
Chandler: Really!
Joey: Oh my, would you look at that! (Holds up crossed fingers)

Chandler: I cannot believe I'm going out with somebody who's getting divorced. I'm such a grownup. Joey! Hey! Go to your room!
Joey: Chandler! Hey! Up yours!

Ross: (About Joey wanting to make a plan to break up Chandler and Janice) Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her.
Joey: Yeah, we'll call that Plan B. All right?

Janice: So, I hear, you hate me!
Joey: I, ah, I never said hate, I was very careful about that.
Janice: A little birdie told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.
Joey: And you got a hate from that?! You're taking a big leap there.

Janice: (Knocks) Guess who!
Joey: Janice. Hi. You just missed Chandler, but won't you come in before you go?

Joey: They're not breaking up. Chandler and Janice, they're not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.
Rachel: Well, you know, I'm not surprised. I mean, have you seen them together? They're really cute.
Joey: Cute? This is Janice.

Joey: So when you dumping her?
Chandler: Nope not this time.
Joey: Come on, quit yanking me.
Chandler: I'm not yanking you.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 361 in total

Friends Quotes

Chandler: Joey's tailor... took advantage of me.
Ross: What?
Joey: No way, I've been going to the guy for twelve years.
Chandler: Oh come on, he said he was going to do my inseem, then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
Ross: What? (Chandler closes his eyes)
Chandler: Cupping.
Joey: That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side then they move it back, and then they do the rear. Ross, will you tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
Ross: Yes, yes it is... in prison!

Joey: If the homo sapiens were in fact homo sapiens...is that why they're extinct?
Ross: Joey, homo sapiens are people!
Joey: Hey, I'm not judging!

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