Joey: What's the matter, Ross? You nervous about your speech?
Ross: Nope. (Pause) You wanna hear it?
Joey: Am I in it?
Ross: Ya huh. Yeah, right after I thank everyone for giving money to the museum, I sing a song about the wonder that is Joey.

Joey: You hide my underwear, I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler: Oh my God! That is so not the opposite of stealing somebody's underpants!
Joey: Look at me, I'm Chandler. Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando...

Joey: All right, they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider.
Chandler: Taste it.
Joey: (Joey takes a drink) Yeah, it's fat. I drank fat!
Chandler: Yeah I know, I did that two minutes ago.

Chandler: (Uncomfortably, about sitting on Joey) I am so comfortable.
Joey: Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable ...
Chandler: All right. (Jumps up)

Ross: Joey, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?
Joey: Cause I'm not wearing any underwear now.
Ross: Um, okay ... then, why do you have to wear underwear tonight?
Joey: Cause it's a rented tux, okay? I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues!

(Joey won't get off Chandlers chair)
Joey: All right! You can have the chair.
Chandler: Really!
Joey: Oh my, would you look at that! (Holds up crossed fingers)

Chandler: I cannot believe I'm going out with somebody who's getting divorced. I'm such a grownup. Joey! Hey! Go to your room!
Joey: Chandler! Hey! Up yours!

Ross: (About Joey wanting to make a plan to break up Chandler and Janice) Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her.
Joey: Yeah, we'll call that Plan B. All right?

Janice: So, I hear, you hate me!
Joey: I, ah, I never said hate, I was very careful about that.
Janice: A little birdie told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.
Joey: And you got a hate from that?! You're taking a big leap there.

Janice: (Knocks) Guess who!
Joey: Janice. Hi. You just missed Chandler, but won't you come in before you go?

Joey: They're not breaking up. Chandler and Janice, they're not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.
Rachel: Well, you know, I'm not surprised. I mean, have you seen them together? They're really cute.
Joey: Cute? This is Janice.

Joey: So when you dumping her?
Chandler: Nope not this time.
Joey: Come on, quit yanking me.
Chandler: I'm not yanking you.

Friends Quotes

(Joey is watching "Wheel of Fortune", the letters read _OUNT RUSH _ORE)
Joey: This guy is so stupid. It's Count Rushmore.
Chandler: You know you should really go on this show.
(Later in this scene)
Chandler: Oh, and by the way, there is no Count Rushmore.
Joey: Yeah? Then who's the guy who painted the faces on the mountain?

Chandler: All right, check out this bad boy. Twelve megabytes of RAM, 500 megabyte hard drive. Built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 BPS.
Phoebe: Wow. What are you gonna use it for?
Chandler: Games and stuff.