Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSPopular Jules Cobb Quotes
Jules: You see that young gentleman there, I'd love to lick his body
Woman: That's my son
Jules: Ooh, he looks smart
Jules: I'm guessing the boy I flashed goes to your school
Travis: Yes he does
Jules: Is he single? ... Kidding! Why don't you ever laugh at my jokes?
Travis: Because they make me sad
Jules: You can't wear fake nails on just one hand, it makes you look like a crazy whore
Laurie: I only had four left and this is the hand I smoke with
Do you want a snack? That's what I do when my kid's friends come over. Do you like crackers with peanut butter?
Josh: What's that scar from?
Jules: I got knifed as a kid
Josh: Really?
Jules: No, that's from my c-section!
All the single guys our age are either broken, gay or chasing younger girls
Ellie: It's your turn, best war story from your twenties.
Jules: Once when I was 22, I had a baby and I stayed home by myself raising him for the rest of my twenties. The end
Andy: Boo!
What are you doing here, do you not get how divorce works?
Jules: Good morning! I've been up for hours
Grayson: I had eggs for breakfast
Jules: What?
Grayson: Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were sharing incredibly boring facts about each other
Jules: Do you think that's an appropriate outfit for work?
Laurie: I did just until a second ago
Jules: Fair enough
Barb: I know I'm being really rude, but I'm really hungry and if you're not gonna eat that...
Jules: My omelet?
[Barb points to Josh]
Jules: When a 40-something guy gets divorced, it's always: "Way to go, Tiger!"
Grayson: We don't call each other Tiger. It's always Champ, or Samurai.
