Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar-town

Jules: You see that young gentleman there, I'd love to lick his body
Woman: That's my son
Jules: Ooh, he looks smart

Jules: I'm guessing the boy I flashed goes to your school
Travis: Yes he does
Jules: Is he single? ... Kidding! Why don't you ever laugh at my jokes?
Travis: Because they make me sad

Jules: You can't wear fake nails on just one hand, it makes you look like a crazy whore
Laurie: I only had four left and this is the hand I smoke with

Do you want a snack? That's what I do when my kid's friends come over. Do you like crackers with peanut butter?

Josh: What's that scar from?
Jules: I got knifed as a kid
Josh: Really?
Jules: No, that's from my c-section!

All the single guys our age are either broken, gay or chasing younger girls

Ellie: It's your turn, best war story from your twenties.
Jules: Once when I was 22, I had a baby and I stayed home by myself raising him for the rest of my twenties. The end
Andy: Boo!

What are you doing here, do you not get how divorce works?

Jules: When a 40-something guy gets divorced, it's always: "Way to go, Tiger!"
Grayson: We don't call each other Tiger. It's always Champ, or Samurai.

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