Jules: Oh look who got laid last night
Andy: That's right chumps, missionary accomplished!

Jules: What did he just say?
Laurie: Got me!
Ellie: Razzle dazzle.

Oh that's right. You have a kid!

(to Grayson) Hold my hand. It can still be romantic!

Drinking keeps women skinny!

(to Andy) I just love our girl time.

Ellie: We've been robbed!
Jules: Dun dun dun... I don't know why I did that.

Jules: Who pretend throws things to show their anger?!
Grayson: Lots of people.

Ellie: You use four towels every shower
Jules: Face, body, hair, feet!

Sheila: Why do you have a post-it that says "I'm awesome?"
Jules: Because I am.

Jules: If you go to college within six hours, I'm gonna drive there and if you don't we can rent the same movie and watch it while we're on the phone.
Travis: Sounds horrifying.

Not like that! You're not going off to war!

Cougar Town Quotes

Tell her I'll get like, jury duty drunk.

Laurie

Don't hate the player, hate the game, yo!

Ellie