Grayson: Wow! That was insane. He was literally sitting on my face!
Jules: He's never had much feeling in his butt.

I hate Halloween.

Ellie: You totally had sex last night
Jules: How'd you know
Ellie: I'm your best friend, I know these things, plus there's a condom wrapper on your back
Jules: Oh, is it just the one?
Ellie: Good god, Jules

Laurie: Am I in a different conversation?
Jules: Almost always.

I'm gonna need a bigger boat.

To sweaty foot wine!

Jules: Not that I would date two guys at the same time anyways, because in grade school this nun told me if I kissed two boys in one day their spit would mix in my mouth and it would kill me.
Ellie: Religion is fantastic.

Travis: I don't get it how is that a drinking game?
Jules: We drink while we do it.

Jules: At least none of these are weird sex things.
Tom: Uh, two of them can be.
Jules: Which one? No, I don't want to know. It's the fedora, right?

Circle of love. Feel it in your hearts..

Making coffee for my friends - that's what they like in the morning.

(to Andy) I just love our girl time.