Jules: Oh look who got laid last night
Andy: That's right chumps, missionary accomplished!

Jules: What did he just say?
Laurie: Got me!
Ellie: Razzle dazzle.

Oh that's right. You have a kid!

(to Grayson) Hold my hand. It can still be romantic!

Drinking keeps women skinny!

(to Andy) I just love our girl time.

Ellie: We've been robbed!
Jules: Dun dun dun... I don't know why I did that.

Jules: Who pretend throws things to show their anger?!
Grayson: Lots of people.

Ellie: You use four towels every shower
Jules: Face, body, hair, feet!

Sheila: Why do you have a post-it that says "I'm awesome?"
Jules: Because I am.

Jules: If you go to college within six hours, I'm gonna drive there and if you don't we can rent the same movie and watch it while we're on the phone.
Travis: Sounds horrifying.

Not like that! You're not going off to war!

Cougar Town Quotes

Tell her I'll get like, jury duty drunk.


Don't hate the player, hate the game, yo!