Jules: Sweetie, this should be the gang.
Ellie: It totally should.

When it comes to love I'm a street rapping poet yo.

Grayson: I thought you wanted to do all the talking?
Jules: Speechless.

Jules: Andy let the ice cream melt so he had to die.
Ellie: It's only pretend murder. We used to fight so much about the little things, now, whenever I get so mad that when I want to kill him I just do it.
Andy: It's been a great tool in our marriage

Jules: Ellie, I love you so much. I want to ask you something.
Ellie: Are we finally running away together? Because I keep a bag in my truck!
Jules: Me too.
Ellie: Awesome.

Jules: Did you really just hiss?
Ellie: I'm trying it out.

Jules: Oh Trav, honey, you look so tired. If you're gonna drive back to school tonight, you're gonna have to drink a lot of caffeine. I'll give you some sleeping pills to bring you down.
Travis: As much as I appreciate the completely unhealthy advice I'm almost 20, no need to worry about me.
Jules: Okay, I'll stop.

Travis: We should just eat cave man style. No dishes to clean that way.
Jules: Get the shades.

Did you turn Officer Pumpkin Head around and blow his cover?

Tom: The Bicycle Boys stole my fountain.
Jules: [Gasp]
Grayson: No!
Andy: Come on!
Ellie: Damn them!

Tom: They made my garden gnomes gay.
Jules: Actually, that was me Tom.

Jules: Roleplayahs!
Grayson: You have the right to remain naked!

Cougar Town Quotes

Jules: You see that young gentleman there, I'd love to lick his body
Woman: That's my son
Jules: Ooh, he looks smart

Jules: When a 40-something guy gets divorced, it's always: "Way to go, Tiger!"
Grayson: We don't call each other Tiger. It's always Champ, or Samurai.