Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSJules Cobb Quotes
Laurie: There's nothing in your purse except three hundred dollars
Jules: That's five hundred, that's my half of a stupid bet bobby bet
Laurie: No, this feels like three hundred. My brother sold pot for six years
I haven't drank out of a red plastic cup since my wedding reception
You think my butt looks like it could be your roommate's? We need to hug, wow
Ellie [about Josh]: He kisses with a perfect seal around you mouth like he's trying to suck your brains out
Jules: I know, but he's gotten so much better
Ellie: That's better?
Josh: I'm gonna get us some more drinks
Jules [with her shirt up]: Hey Trav!
Travis: Shirt down, then hey Trav
Jules [pulls down shirt]: Hey Trav!
Travis: Too, late scarred for life
Jules: These used to feed you!
Ellie: If you don't stop with the hazelnut, I'm gonna make my own coffee
Jules: No you won't
Elie: You're right, even saying it was too much work
Travis: Hey mom look what Donny drew. He mostly draws snakes doing horrible things to women, though this one looks consensual
Jules: She does't look happy, Travis
Laurie [about Ellie]: She's hot for a frigid, beastly, elderly woman
Ellie: You think I'm hot
Jules: That worked?
Ellie: Well yeah because if that trashy big lipped slag said it, it might be a little true
Laurie: You think I have big lips? That's really sweet
I have so many chin whiskers I look like carnie folk
Jules: Are you watching my sex tape?
Ellie: Yeah, but with the volume off so it's not so weird
Jules: I can't believe I was married to a guy who keeps his driver's license in a box
Bobby: A box marked important stuff
Jules: Oh look who got laid last night
Andy: That's right chumps, missionary accomplished!
