Cougar Town
Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBSJules Cobb Quotes
Ellie: Why are you out of breath
Jules: Cause I'm sanding down my disgusting elephant heels. With all the shavings here I could make a second foot
Travis: Good bye, I love you dad
Jules: Oh my god, did he just say I love you?
Bobby: I know, pretty gay right?
Ellie: You know how I take a nap every day from 10 to 11:45?
Jules: Your life is better than mine
Jules: You never go all out for a guy?
Laurie: If I really like a guy I'll stop texting while I do him
Ellie: I wish you were my daughter
Barb: I know I'm being really rude, but I'm really hungry and if you're not gonna eat that...
Jules: My omelet?
[Barb points to Josh]
Jules: Do you think that's an appropriate outfit for work?
Laurie: I did just until a second ago
Jules: Fair enough
Jules: Good morning! I've been up for hours
Grayson: I had eggs for breakfast
Jules: What?
Grayson: Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were sharing incredibly boring facts about each other
What are you doing here, do you not get how divorce works?
Ellie: It's your turn, best war story from your twenties.
Jules: Once when I was 22, I had a baby and I stayed home by myself raising him for the rest of my twenties. The end
Andy: Boo!
All the single guys our age are either broken, gay or chasing younger girls
Josh: What's that scar from?
Jules: I got knifed as a kid
Josh: Really?
Jules: No, that's from my c-section!
Do you want a snack? That's what I do when my kid's friends come over. Do you like crackers with peanut butter?
