South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralFavorite Kenny McCormick Quotes
Kenny: [Stan reading from letter] He still seems quite angry at times, but luckily his ceremony will finally take place on the morrow.
Stan: On the morrow? What the **** is wrong with Kenny?
Kenny: To wit, I have found nothing wrong with this remote place, and I must admit it will be with some melancholy I will leave this island and return home. I saw this chick in a bikini on the beach too. She had the nicest boobs ever. Humbly yours, Kenneth.
Stan: Holy crap! Wendy wants to meet me at Stark's Pond after school today.
Kyle: Wow. Maybe you can kiss her.
Cartman: Or slip her the tongue.
Kenny: (muffled) Maybe you can touch her pussy.
Stan: What? How do you know she has a cat?
Chef: (after lights come back on) Is everybody okay?? That sounded like a gunshot!
Officer Barbrady: Oh, my god! Look!
(Everybody sees Mephesto's body, which has been shot at.)
Kenny: (mumbling) Oh my god, they killed Mephesto!
Kyle: You bastard!
That ain't why, Stuart! It's because you are an alcoholic retard and he has dreams of not eating frozen waffles for dinner every night!
Mrs. McCormick
(When Cartman shows everyone Kenny's picture)
Cartman: Dude, check it out! It's the sweetest thing I've ever done!
Kenny: (muffled) YOU'VE ever done?
Cartman (as The Coon): I'm making the world a better place.
Kenny (as Mysterion): For you! A better place for you!
Cartman (as The Coon): That's what superheroes do!
Stan: Wow Kenny, your mom's pregnant, what are you going to do now?
Kenny: I don't know, but I gotta think of something.
(Cartman is sitting on Kenny)
Cartman: Cartman Von Cartman has ways of making you talk! (Farts)
Kenny: Aaah!
Mrs. McCormick: Yes, Kenny such a great name, my little Kenny, a brand new Kenny.
Mr. McCormick: God, this must be the fiftieth time this has happened.
Mrs. McCormick: Fifty-second.
You never f**king care when I die!
Stan: Kyle's gonna die Kenny, (starts crying) Herbal medicine is going to kill my best friend...
Kenny: (mumbled) That's it I'm sick of this bull sh** screw you guys, I'm goin' home!
It's when you take your finger, and stick it down your asshole, and it makes you feel really good.
</i> Kenny
