Kevin Malone Quotes
Kevin: Michael, why is it that you asked everyone except me, Angela, Creed, and Meredith?
Michael: I was going to, I wanted to. But I had to start somewhere.
Kevin: But you didn't want to start with us?
Michael: No, of course not. But now I want everybody. Jim! Jim? Buddy, Hey! Buddy, Jimbo? Did you have time to think about my offer?
Jim: I did have a chance to think about it, but then I thought about something else.
Michael: So which way are you leaning?
Jim: Well it is tempting but I am 100% leaning towards something else.
Michael: Thanks Jim.
- Permalink: Michael, why is it that you asked everyone except me, Angela, Cr...
I always thought Michael got a bad rap. He's a good guy. And he's super funny. Yeah, maybe I should tell him before he goes. He's all the way over there.
- Permalink: I always thought Michael got a bad rap. He's a good guy. And he'...
Kevin: When will the new copier be ready?
Pam: I'm working on it Kev.
Kevin: You said it would be ready by today. And it is today.
Pam: It'll be ready soon.
Kevin: Soon could mean anything. Soon could be 3 weeks.
Pam: Is that what 'soon' means to you?
Pam: Then come back soon.
- Permalink: Pam? Hmm? When will the new copier be ready? I'm working o...
Kevin: Michael is that scotch?
Michael: Scotch with Splenda. Tastes like Splenda, gets drunk like scotch. Clinky, clinky-clink. Come-on... come on, come on.
- Permalink: Michael is that scotch? Scotch with Splenda. Tastes like Splen...
Pam: Okay focus. Focus. You're in the right building, you're with the right people; what happened?
Michael: I looked at Wallace and I said "I quit!" and as I turned to leave I looked back and I said "You have no idea how high I can fly."
Stanley: Did you tell him how sick of him you were?
Michael: Why would I do that?
Angela: Well, wouldn't it feel good to tell him that he was incompetent?
Kevin: That he's wasted 15 years of your life?
Meredith: Did you spit in his face?
Michael: You guys have thought about this a lot more than I have. I just winged it.
- Permalink: Okay focus. Focus. You're in the right building, you're with the...
Kevin: I just realized that I used the 2008 calendar to do the spreadsheets for January and February. I may need to come in this weekend to fix it.
Michael: Do some overtime? You want to do some overtime this weekend? You know what, Kevin, I applaud your initiative. Yes. You may.
Charles: Uh, no, sorry, Michael. No, Kevin, right? We're going to need you to do that during office hours.
Michael: Kevin? This is my branch. You don't ask Charles. You ask me. I say, approved.
Charles: That's not the way it's gonna work.
Michael: Yes it is!
Charles: No, it is not.
Michael: No, it is not.
Charles: Ok, so we're on the same page, great.
Michael: Ok, so we're on the same page, great.
Charles: Ok, Michael, what are you doing?
Michael: Ok, Michael, what are you doing?
Charles: No, seriously.
Michael: No, seriously.
Charles: How old are you?
Michael: How old are you?
Pam: Oh no.
- Permalink: Michael? Yep. I just realized that I used the 2008 calendar ...
Michael: This little hell-raiser is Angela. She has slept with a bunch of different guys in the office. One over there, in the orange [points to Andy]
Michael: There you go! Where's the other?
Charles: You know, Michael, I don't need to know everyone's sexual history.
Michael: Well, perfect, because we have now arrived at Kevin and he has no sexual history.
- Permalink: This little hell-raiser is Angela. She has slept with a bunch of...
Kevin: Lynn, I'm just gonna say to you everything that I am thinking.
Kevin: I think you have the best smile. I'd like to take you out to dinner and a movie.
Kevin: Nice. Boobs.
- Permalink: Hi. Lynn, I'm just gonna say to you everything that I am think...
Kevin: You guys are throwing a lot at me.
Jim: All I'm saying is that it's a first dates, so just keep a respectful distance.
Pam: I don't think Jim means to say that you shouldn't touch her.
Jim: No, that is what I mean.
Pam: [to Jim] Shush. [to Kevin] Kevin, a playful touch on the arm, or on the back, it can show your interest and it's really romantic.
Kevin: [puts hand on Jim's hand] Like that?
Jim: No, stop it.
Andy: Don't touch her. Don't talk to her. Don't look at her.
- Permalink: You guys are throwing a lot at me. All I'm saying is that it's...