Rachel: Good luck winning without me.
Kurt: Everyone is replaceable, even you.

I feel like Lady GaGa.

I say we lock Rachel up until after sectionals. I volunteer my basement.

Rachel: I thought we were friends.
Kurt: What made you think that?

It makes it hard to appreciate your talent because I wanna shove a sock in your throat.

You need something to distract from your horrible personality. Most of the time, I can't stand to be in the same room as you.

Rachel manages to dress like a grandmother and a toddler at the same time.

Makeovers are like crack to me.

He's cheating off a girl who thinks she square root of four is rainbows.

I'll admit it, I'm madly in love with Finn.

How do you explain her constant irritation with you? It's because SHE'S A GIRL.

Finn: I'm sick and tired of people pushing me to be somebody I'm not.
Kurt: You're lashing out at me is fantastically compelling and inappropriate.

Glee Quotes

[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.

Brittany

Blaine: Where's the bed?
Brittany: I removed it because when I imagined you two having sex I imagined a U-haul mounting a moped.