Can you go now? I'm a half hour behind on my moisturizer routine, and I need to wake up early.

Finn: I miss getting hit.
Kurt: Pure boyish insanity.

Don't sweat that old chair. I have a lovely chaise picked out.

You have a week to lose 10 pounds. It's like trying to lose one of my butt cheeks.

Kurt: You shouldn't be embarrassed about your boy.
Mercedes: Embarrassed ? I'm worried about showing too much skin and causing a sex riot.

Kurt: Mercedes is black, I'm gay: We make culture.

Rachel: Good luck winning without me.
Kurt: Everyone is replaceable, even you.

I feel like Lady GaGa.

I say we lock Rachel up until after sectionals. I volunteer my basement.

Rachel: I thought we were friends.
Kurt: What made you think that?

It makes it hard to appreciate your talent because I wanna shove a sock in your throat.

You need something to distract from your horrible personality. Most of the time, I can't stand to be in the same room as you.

Glee Quotes

Rachel: This is what I wanted!
Sam: No, what you wanted was a second chance to get it right and Carmen just gave it to you. If you throw all that away you're going to be making the same mistake all over again

Finn: I seem to recall a rumor about a certain cheerleading coach at this school who once took horse estrogen and posed for Penthouse back in the day. So maybe I can just track that down and make a few copies and sell those to raise money for Regionals.
Sue: That's nothing but a rumor. But if that rumor were true, my Penthouse centerfold so groundbreaking that it completely redefined the term 'hirsute,' and gave birth unto these United States a pose so limber they named it the Regal American Not-So-Bald Spread Eagle, I promise you, my friend, you would never find it.