Favorite Larry David Quotes
You know I talk during intercourse too.
A gay Jew in Nazi Germany. He must have had a hard time
You think I'd send anyone to this piece of shit store?
Susie: Ya know Larry, I think you're taking the wrong tactic with these women. I really do. I think you have to present who you reall are.
Larry: I did present who I really was; a phony, a fraud, a prevaricator. I presented who I was.
Becky: You ate the baby Jesus and his mother Mary.
Larry: I thought they were animal cookies.
Becky: Jesus Christ is not an animal!
Larry: I thought he was a monkey.
Larry: I don't really get this fascination that people have with the ocean.
Cheryl: No?
Larry: I mean, I stare at it for ten minutes, and I go, "Okay, I get it.
There's plenty of Pinkberry's. I bet you there's a couple of decent ones near a prison.
Cheryl: Why would somebody steal tickets to Monterey?
Larry: Why not? Monterey's a very beautiful place.
Cheryl: Was anything else stolen? Was anything else gone?
Larry: I don't know. I wasn't paying attention.
Cheryl: You know, all our information is on there: our address, our telephone number, ...
Larry: It doesn't matter. He's not going to break into our house. He's going to Monterey
Cheryl [referring to the caterer who stole their food]: You know, this is very unprofessional if you ask me.
Larry: It's completely unprofessional. And I know because my whole career's been based on being unprofessional
Cheryl: I thought you didn't like talking to people.
Larry: I don't like talking to people I know. Strangers, I don't have a problem with.
Tie goes to the hetero.
Larry: I don't know why you call him an asshole. He's not an asshole, he's just shy.
Cheryl: No, he's not shy. He thinks he's smarter than ever everbody else and he sits there and he judges and he-
Larry: No, he doesn't, he's just shy! You got shy/asshole confusion, my friend.
Cheryl: No, I don't think so.
Larry: Yes, I think so my friend.
