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Whether I give you a gift or you give me a gift, it costs me money.

Susie: Ya know Larry, I think you're taking the wrong tactic with these women. I really do. I think you have to present who you reall are.
Larry: I did present who I really was; a phony, a fraud, a prevaricator. I presented who I was.

You fixed it all so you could be at the cool table. You got Ricky Gervais, you got Allie, you got your Broadway stars.

Hank: I got picked on a lot by some kids.
Larry: By Spaniards?
Hank: Yeah, well they spoke Spanish.
Larry: Oh they're not from Spain?
Hank: I don't know where they were from.

Everybody brings wine. I bring bread.

Waiter: I am the waiter.
Larry: Yet we were the ones waiting, so we became the waiters.
Jeff: This man's a hero. He just revolutionized the way restaurants work my friend. No one's gonna go hungry again.

Poor little coachy girl. She's so jealous 'cause everybody else is more comfortable than the coachy girl.

For a guy who can't talk, he has a pretty big mouth.

You've gone through enough today. You don't need to be looking at garbage.

There's plenty of Pinkberry's. I bet you there's a couple of decent ones near a prison.

First of all, congratulations on a great attempt on a chat and cut.

You see what's going on here? She's doing a chat and cut.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 265 in total

Curb Your Enthusiasm Quotes

Larry: Who do you think has more freedom: the married man in America or the single man in Communist China?

Cheryl: Well, I think you should write a letter of apology to him.
Larry: "Dear prick, why are you such a prick?"