Larry David Quotes
Shara: I like you.
Larry: What's not to like.
Shara: Ehh, you're a Jew.
You're saying LOL. You're verbal texting.
Juliet: How are the potatoes?
Larry: Actually, the potatoes are a little cold.
Man: So you think all Black people look alike?
Larry: I think all computers look alike.
Richard: What's half a double D?
Larry: B...plus. No, B minus. Minus is closer to the D. What's closer to the D? The minus or the plus?
You're comparing breasts with balls? People hate balls.
I have no problem with crying in a grocery store. I would suggest, however, the next time you feel overwhelmed by something, to go to a different section.
Woman: Do you want to apologize to my dog? Because you really yelled at my dog.
Larry: Yeah, it's very hard to apologize to a dog because they're a stupid animal.
I don't know where you were living before, but I think this would probably be a step up. You hit the jackpot with this place, huh?
She was upset? Her dog pooped all over my yard, three times.
I could be a burlesque dermatologist.
Richard: How did you see a small mole from where you were sitting?
Larry: Well I have breast vision.