Jules: Grayson is totally pursey whipped. That is really gonna catch on. pursey magnet, pursey hound.
Laurie: Pursey cat.
Ellie: That's not how it works.

Laurie: I'm still young enough that I can totally change who I am.
Ellie: We can only hope.

Laurie: She almost hit a cop.
Jules: It was a crossing guar. If it was a cop I would have slowed down when sure started chasing us.

Laurie: Well I have tons of guy friends.
Grayson: Have you slept with any of them?
Laurie: Yeah, I've slept with all of the them, but only as friends.

Ellie: You know what panties are? They're a type of clothes most women wear under their skirts.
Laurie: Pass.

Jules: Would you help us figure out who gets dibs on a guy.
Laurie: Well that's easy, which one of you is pregnant?
Jules: No one.
Laurie: Then I got nothing.

Grayson: I wish I had a time machine to undo... you.
Laurie: I would also use it to go back and tell my aunt not to give my cousin up for adoption. We're pretty sure she's Dakota Fanning.
Grayson: Yeah, she's not adopted.

Laurie: Don't look at me. I just can't take seeing you right now.
Grayson: Then it makes total sense to come to a bar I own.

What we did was totally natural like the wind... or not trusting Canadians.

Laurie: I have to admit last was pretty okay
Grayson: That's weird, during it you were vocal how good it was.
Laurie: Yeah, that's because it's not sex to moan, "oh this is okay."

Travis: Are there really women out there that will have sex with me just because they're mad about something?
Laurie: Oh yeah, for sure.
Travis: This is very exciting news.
Laurie: You know there are also girls that will sleep with you because their friends are prettier.
Travis: This just keeps getting better.

Laurie: I wish you could make it simpler.
Grayson: Donkey likes hybrids, health care and homosexuals and elephant likes God.
Laurie: I saw an elephant pray in the circus once.
Grayson: Wow, that's relevant.
Laurie: So both of our votes count the same, right?
Grayson: Yeah, it's a great system.
Laurie: I think it works.

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

We're even wearing the same unisex cologne. "Both" by Bruce Jenner.

Laurie