Cougar Town

Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar town

Laurie: I feel like people respect my ideas more when they think they came out of magazines.
Ellie: No.

It's not my fault that I am allergic to latex and birth control pills.

I have a rule that every kiss should last three seconds - it's what the Obama's do.

That's how it started for my Uncle Max - then he bought some wigs and changed his name to Maxine, but you know what is really funny? He still goes by Max.

As my uncle dad always told me, check yourself, before you wreck yourself.

I always hold eye contact with people, it totally freaks out my gyno.

Women do love when men fight for them. There is nothing less sexy than a man that respects a restraining order.

Jules: Grayson is totally pursey whipped. That is really gonna catch on. pursey magnet, pursey hound.
Laurie: Pursey cat.
Ellie: That's not how it works.

Laurie: I'm still young enough that I can totally change who I am.
Ellie: We can only hope.

Laurie: She almost hit a cop.
Jules: It was a crossing guar. If it was a cop I would have slowed down when sure started chasing us.

Laurie: Well I have tons of guy friends.
Grayson: Have you slept with any of them?
Laurie: Yeah, I've slept with all of the them, but only as friends.

Ellie: You know what panties are? They're a type of clothes most women wear under their skirts.
Laurie: Pass.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 131 in total

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!

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