Lem Hewitt Quotes
Linda: I don't know why I drink. I always either get laid or fired.
Lem: I have to start drinking. I like those odds
Lem: Bosses and employees just shouldn't hang out. It's like a ventriloquist trying to be friends with his dummy. At the end of the day, you know who's sleeping in a suitcase.
Phil: The dummy.
Ted: All right, I was the one who pushed for us to hang out, so I should endure this. I mean suffer through... I mean support you. Because that's what friends do
Phil: Besides, Ted could bring us a lot of street crud.
Lem: It's street cred. You know, "credibility"?
Phil: Oh... now that finally makes sense
Lem: I always thought Veronica lived here.
Phil: Me, too. You know, she just finds a comfortable chair and powers down for the night
Lem: I'm sorry, but when I hear an undeserved compliment it makes my ears want to throw up.
Phil: Oh, your ears are always throwing up about something
Phil: Do you think I look like a possum in this shirt?
Lem: Not in that shirt. Why?
Veronica: Legal says you have to wear a parachute.
Lem: Why? At the height I'm going, a parachute will be useless.
Veronica: Not from a legal standpoint. Good luck
Lem: Did you disable the camera?
Dr. Bhamba: Did you disable your stupid-question filter?
Lem: I thought I did
Linda: Listen to my tone and not my words. We can't just stand here and let them take Ted away from us. He is the shiniest employee we have.
Lem: Did you just say "shiniest"?
Linda: Again, listen to my tone and not my words. We have to do something.
Phil: Linda's tone is right. We can't function without Ted
Phil: This jet pack project is going to be so exciting. Jet packs are the ultimate dream of every scientist. Skies teeming with ordinary citizens strapped to rockets.
Lem: Flying through the air at 60 miles an hour in any direction... A lot of people are going to die
Phil: Linda, you can't hurt a baby.
Lem: Well, you can hurt them. They're not indestructible.
Phil: I meant it's morally indefensible.
Lem: Well, what if the baby killed a man?
Phil: You and your moral puzzles. I just love 'em
You know how when you accidentally dose someone, like with an experimental energy patch, and you hope they'll sit quietly at their desks, but instead they wander around unnecessarily drawing attention to themselves? We've done something eerily similar to that
