NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSLeon Vance Quotes
Couples therapy is not in my job description.
Vance [regarding Gibbs and Fornell]
Gibbs [enters in a hurry]: He’s right behind me, and you gotta say no!
Vance [confused]: Say no to what?
Fornell [enters leisurely]: Director! It’s good to see you.
Vance: Sometimes I like to *eat* my meal, not *sip* it.
Kayla: Diner food isn’t a meal!
Kayla: I made a mistake.
Vance: No, a mistake is when you step on the accelerator instead of the brakes. You made a--
Both: Bad choice.
So, my little girl is a thief. Not a good look for the head of a federal agency.
Vance: Agent Torres, you disobeyed a direct order!
Torres: I thought it was more a suggestion…
Vance: That’s *not* the direction you want to go in!
Torres: Fine. I made a choice.
Gibbs: Not your call to make, Nick. You put your partner at risk.
Vance: Well, it’s your word against your boyfriend’s.
Misty: He just accused me of *murder*. We’re no longer dating.
Vance: As someone who was also married to a strong, intelligent woman, may I give you some advice, Agent McGee?
McGee: Don’t blow it?
Vance: No. Never take it for granted. Not for one second. And don’t blow it.
Vance: You intentionally infected an NCIS agent with a computer virus?!
Admiral Chase: I was trying to motivate him.
Vance: By committing a felony? Five felonies!
Admiral Chase: Look, I meant to send it to Tim only.
Gibbs: Viruses spread.
Admiral Chase: Look, are you going after me, or the hacker who started this?
Gibbs: We can do both.
Would you like to sit at my desk while you’re thinking above your pay grade?
Vance: Officer Reeves, MI-6 has made it abundantly clear they want you back.
Reeves: When do I leave, sir?
Vance [beat]: You forgot to mention how parting is such sweet sorrow.
Wow, duplicitous backstabbers on Capitol Hill? Who’da thunk it?
