Leonard: I didn't tell Sheldon so we could have a few days alone.
Penny: Oh, that is so romantic.
Leonard: Uh, sure, that's why I did it.

Penny: I love you.
Leonard: I love you, too.

Penny: Oh, I don't know. Remember what happened when I took care of your goldfish?
Leonard: Well, flush Sheldon down the toilet and get me a new one.

Penny: On a ship? Aren't they afraid Hawking will just roll overboard?
Leonard: Uh, he's not gonna be there. He's just sending a team to research his theory.
Penny: Oh sure. Like when you send me to kill spiders in your bathtub.

Leonard: I know what you are doing. You don't want me going on this research trip because you're afraid to be alone.
Sheldon: I'm not afraid to be alone. On the sea, it would be terrifying. Because of all the drowning.

Penny: This isn't alcohol. It's a potion that makes me like you.
Leonard: Double potion, please.

Sheldon: It would -- fun? Yeah, okay, three weeks ago, you brought crunchy peanut butter but now you want the girls to play D & D -- do you have a drug problem?
Leonard: What's the big deal?

Leonard: See, Howard is just as good a dungeon master as I am.
Sheldon: As good? You just got pantsed in the school yard four eyes.

Leonard: Sometimes change is good. You were worried about Zachary Quinto being the new Spock, but you ended up liking him.
Sheldon: Leonard, please, every time the topic of change comes up you throw Zachary Quinto in my face. I'm upset the mailman has a new haircut -- Zachary Quinto. I'm upset daylight savings time started -- Zachary Quinto. I'm upset daylight savings time ended -- Zachary Quinto. I'm saying this for the last time. Zachary Quinto was a weird, wonderful, unrepeatable event, so stop using him against me.

Professor Proton: I'm having trouble with my pacemaker.
Leonard: I'll call for help.
Penny: Any chance we could plug it into the potato?
Professor Proton: No.

Professor Proton: Is the blond girl really your girlfriend?
Leonard: Yes, sir.
Professor Proton: You're the genius.

Sheldon: Leonard?
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I still can't sleep.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz electric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will never forget.
Raj: Where are we going?