Leonard Hofstadter Quotes
Leonard: Two can play this game.
Penny: Get up.
- Permalink: Two can play this game. Get up.
Howard: A micro-valentine for a microbiologist.
Leonard: From her micro-husband.
- Permalink: A micro-valentine for a microbiologist. From her micro-husband...
Well, this time is going to be different because I'm a like a romance ninja. You don't see it coming and then BAM. Romance, watch out, hearts, kisses, love, ewww wah.
- Permalink: Well, this time is going to be different because I'm a like a ro...
Penny: No, I said "Oh my God, I think that old guy's choking" and one of the busboy's Heimlich'd him.
Leonard: You're a hero...
Penny: Yeah ... that was the point of the story.
- Permalink: No, I said Oh my God, I think that old guy's choking and one of ...
Sheldon: Have you seen the one where Lori dies?
Sheldon: Or, maybe she doesn't. Let's find out.
- Permalink: Have you seen the one where Lori dies? No. Or, maybe she doe...
Oh, spoiler alert. This door's about to slam in your face.
- Permalink: Oh, spoiler alert. This door's about to slam in your face.
Leonard: Maybe it's a shipping problem.
Leonard: Maybe Wesley Snipes and Toucan Sam just got action figures that look like you guys.
- Permalink: Maybe it's a shipping problem. What? Maybe Wesley Snipes an...
Fine, but set them to stun. If we vaporize Penny, I'll never find a girlfriend that pretty again.
- Permalink: Fine, but set them to stun. If we vaporize Penny, I'll never fin...
Raj: Are they actually arguing about comic books?
Leonard: No, that can't be right.
Howard: Maybe "Thor's Hammer" is a new color of nail polish.
- Permalink: Are they actually arguing about comic books? No, that can't be...
Cop: You guys need me to call someone? I'm guessing your moms?
Leonard: Thanks, but we've got it covered.
Howard (walks up): Okay, I just talked to my mom.
- Permalink: You guys need me to call someone? I'm guessing your moms?
Raj: Wool pants in the desert. I feel like I've got poached testicles.
Leonard: Oh, you poor thing, you're sweating. That is so much worse than having your car stolen.
Raj: Your insurance is going to buy you a new car. It's not gonna de-funk my junk.
- Permalink: Wool pants in the desert. I feel like I've got poached testicles...
Leonard: Come on, let's just start walking. There's got to be a gas station or something nearby.
Sheldon: What, you think just because you are wearing a captain's uniform, you're in charge?
- Permalink: Come on, let's just start walking. There's got to be a gas stati...
Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.
Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.
- Permalink: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again? Yes, i...