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Howard: Boy, if these walls could talk.
Leonard: They'd say, "Why does he touch himself so much?"
Howard: Yeah.

She writes like she cooks.

Sheldon: Oh, ow, blueberry in my nose. Blueberry in my nose.
Leonard: Snort it down and keep eating.
Sheldon: [snorts]

Sheldon: How could you not find him?
Leonard: Because he's hard to find. If he was easy to find, the books would be called "There's Waldo."

A solar system? Uh,uh,um, unidentified flying liverwurst? I don't....

Leonard: In what universe is that a present?
Sheldon: It's not a present. It's the present. There's you and me. It's Penny and Amy. We're playing Pictionary. In the present.

It had weaponized fruit and a puppet. What more do you want?

Mmm, the nurse is a woman, so he couldn't talk to her. She had to bring him a Grover puppet so he could point at what hurt.

Leonard: The guy who seems like an emotionless robot ... is you, but your relationship with Amy is causing you to transform into a red-blooded man with sexual desires.
Sheldon: That is literally the stupidest thing I've heard.

Leonard: Come on, Sheldon. It will be fun.
Sheldon: That's what you said about the Green Lantern movie. You were 114 minutes of wrong.

Leonard: What are you doing?
Amy: We're playing doctor. Star Trek style.
Sheldon: I'm in hell, Leonard. Don't stop.

Sheldon: Can I ask you a question about women?
Leonard: I got you that book last year, wasn't everything in there?

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 425 in total

TBBT Quotes

Howard: Attention people of Earth: Tonight, there will be two moons in the sky.

Sheldon: Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup" tattooed on your right buttock?
Penny: It's not "soup," it's "courage."
Sheldon: No it isn't. But I suppose it does take courage to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup.
Penny: How'd you see it? You said you wouldn't look.
Sheldon: Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks.

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