Leonard: I can't believe they kicked you out.
Raj: I can't believe they're still married.

Your element does not exist!

Sheldon: Well, I'm not just some trained monkey dancing for coins.
Leonard: Of course not. People love trained monkeys.

Penny: We had one of those silly fake weddings.
Leonard: Penny ... you know those are real, right?
Penny: No, they're not.
Leonard: Yeah, they are.
Penny: No, they're not.
Leonard: Yeah, they are.
Sheldon: He's right.
Amy: They're real.
Penny: But, it didn't seem real.

Leonard: It'd actually be nice to not hear Sheldon complain about my cooking all day.
Sheldon: Yo ... uh, excuse me, but every year you prepare a terrible meal and every year I criticize it. Do our traditions mean nothing to you?

Leonard: How about that? Sheldon's being reasonable.
Penny: Yeah, it's freaking me out. I'm gonna go.

Leonard: I'm gonna show you what's in the box, but just ... promise not to flip out.
Sheldon: Why would I flip out? Is it a spider? It's a spider.
Penny: No, if it was a spider, Lenny would've flipped out.

Dr. Jeffries: You ... you know you're describing a dog.
Leonard: He did bite me once.

Dr. Jeffries: W-why do you put up with Sheldon?
Leonard: Because we're friends.
Dr. Jeffries: Why?
Leonard: Wow. You ask really hard questions.

Leonard: Buddy, I don't think you can. I mean, once it's out there, it's out there. This thing is like the science equivalent of a sex tape.
Sheldon: You know, frankly, I'd prefer a sex tape.
Leonard: You don't know what a sex tape is, do you?
Sheldon: No.

Penny: Just you wait and see. I'm gonna romance your freakin' ass off.
Leonard: That's beautiful. Is that Shakespeare?

Penny: Hey, how come you've never done anything romantic to celebrate our first date?
Leonard: Well, for starters, you've broken up with me so many times, which first date are we talking about?

TBBT Quotes

Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them.


(Singing) Thor and Dr Jones, Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightening, the other plays with bones.

Howard and Raj