We'll do a double date. You and you. And me and Ben!

Chris: According to Leslie's binder, her and April are making better time than on a normal day.
Leslie: Oh that's weird with us being women and all. You'd think our boobs would be getting in the way.

April: Let's rock this.
Leslie: April, I love you, but I don't need your sarcasm.
April: I'm serious. Let's get rolling, let's get into some garbage!
(to the camera) What? I love garbage.

Man on committee: I believe one problem with hiring women is that they're frail and breakable.
Leslie: Are you sure you're not talking about a lightbulb? Or your hip?

Leslie: Merry congratuchristmas!
Ron: What?

Ben: I don't know if you knew this, but Leslie was born in Eagleton!
Leslie: Do not blame me for the sins of my mother!

Jazz, plus jazz, plus jazz!

Your show last week on dolphin lactation was riveting radio.

Can you say per capita again? I want to take a picture of you saying "per capita."

[to Joe Biden] You're my...my name just came out of your mouth!

Leslie: 2020.
Ben: Uh. that's a stretch.
Leslie: Fine. 2024. I take the West Wing, you take the East. You can be the First Gentleman.

Ann, you are such a good friend. You are a beautiful, talented, brilliant, powerful musk ox. Thank you, ox, for keeping this ship afloat.

Parks & Rec Quotes

I hit rock bottom that night. I mean I literally fell to the bottom of a pit and hit a rock. I remember laying there thinking, there's probably a good reason why I'm down here. And then I remember thinking I need morphine.

Mark

You know why tonight is so much fun? Because everyone's so gay. And they know how to have fun, and the dancing ... everyone is just who they are and who they are is just stone cold gay.

Leslie