How am I supposed to find the love of Ann's life when it sounds like a funeral in here?

Ben: Screw romantic dinners, let's go rub it in their face.
Leslie: God, I love you so much.

All the things make me think a lot of feelings about myself.

I've never been very good at letting things go. I can't tell you how many times a fun tug of a war with a dog over a chew toy turned contentious. One of always gets mad.

Not now Ben, I would like to introduce Derek's ass to my foot.

He is attractive, and charming, and his family employs half the town. But, so what? I am a lifelong government bureaucrat who's well versed in the issues. And those are the kind of sexy qualifications that win elections.

Ann, you beautiful tropical fish.

It's true. I no longer have highly trained, professional campaign managers. So what? Are most murders committed by highly trained, professional assassins? No, they're committed by friends and coworkers! That analogy was way better in my head.

Leslie: See there's more things to look at on the internet other than naked guys Ann.
Ann: What?

Leslie: Ben, my campaign manager and I, have made a decision.
Ann: We've decided to fire that campaign manager, me.
Leslie: And hire you.

I know for a fact the Parks Department doesn't read letters.

My God Diana, will you stop it with the letter writing campaign.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.

Ron

Leslie: It is nice to see you again.
Ben: Are you talking to my butt?
Leslie: Yes.