Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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Ben: Should we talk about how you claimed your mom was a Filipino woman you've never met.

Leslie: Should we?

You know what I should do? I should get my mother a one way ticket to London, leaving today. That way Ben never has to meet her and I could visit her in London. Everybody wins.

Ben: I think at some point you and I should probably make out with each other.

Leslie: Yeah, good call.

Leslie: And you have an officemate, his name is Stewart. And he's kind of a grouch.

Ann: I have an officemate?

Stewart: Get these f-ing balloons out of here.

Leslie: Oh my god I'm so hungover. I've never been this hungover.
Ben: I feel great. I ran 5K this morning.
Leslie: Really?
Ben: No, I threw up in the shower.

Perfect. I'm gonna go see a man about some porcelain, you know what I mean? I'm not buying cocaine. I'm going to the bathroom, the wiz palace as I like to call it.

The raccoon problem is under control. They have their part of the town and we have ours.

And so as you can see Pawnee has 12 beautiful baseball diamonds. And our seats have extra cushions due to the massive size of our average citizen.


Their bathmats are amazing it's like stepping on a lamb.

Leslie: Ann, everything you have is too sexy. This is actually the dress Julia Roberts wore as prostitute in Pretty Woman.

Ann: I know I look really good in it.

Ann: Also, I can talk about my qualifications for this position, but first I am gonna go throw up in a waste basket.

Leslie: Would you mind if I joined you?

Ann: Not at all.

Leslie: John Ralphio!

John: Yes, I'm here.

Leslie: Dance up on me.

Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 518 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.