Parks and Recreation

Leslie Knope Quotes (Page 18)

Leslie: Calzones are like pizzas but they're harder to eat. They're dumb. And so was that idea.
Ben: Seriously?
Tom: This is embarrassing for you.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Leslie: I don't know what it is about big, outdoor gatherings that makes everyone wanna urinate all over everything. But it does. And they do.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ben: Should we throw in some salads for a healthy option?
Tom: Wow, don't be such a Jerry, Ben.
Leslie: Yeah, Ben. These guys are cops. Not ballerinas.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Leslie: Whale tail. Whale tail. She's flashing a whale tale. Abort. Abort.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Leslie: I pre-dialed 9-1-1 so all you have to do is press send.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ben: What's going on?
Leslie: Some guy handcuffed himself to a pipe in my office because we wouldn't put a copy of Twilight in the time capsule.
Ben: Damn it. Again?
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Leslie: So, enjoy watching it. Assuming you still have electricity. And sorry about the weird blank gap in the middle. A man named Jerry Gergich screwed up the recording somehow. He had one job to do.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: For the last time. And I won't say this again. There will be no human or feline ashes in either one of the time capsules.
Man: Except for Turnip. Except for Turnip...
Leslie: No chanting.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Please remember, this is a government project. So, we need to refrain from corporate promotion and religious items. Who'd like to start?
Man: I think we should put in the Bible.
Leslie: Great.
 • Rating: Unrated

Shauna: How's this for a headline? Parks department foiled by pipe dreams.
Leslie: God, that's an amazing headline. But please don't write that story.
 • Rating: Unrated

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