Ron: How many courses will there be?
Leslie: Three
Ron: Hmm?
Leslie: Four.
Ron: Hmm.
Leslie: Not including dessert.
Ron: So five courses.
Leslie: Yes, now it will be five courses.

Justin: You've got to try this.
Leslie: Oh that's really good.
Justin: Isn't it great? It's camel stomach.
Leslie: Is it?
Justin: I'm teasing, I'm teasing. It's chicken.
Waiter: Would you like to try the camel stomach?
Leslie: No.

Leslie: That fish over there kinda reminds me of my mom.
Justin: Why?
Leslie: It's just being very withholding.

Nobody's more upset about this than me. I've been taking these rec center classes since I was in high school. It's where I learned hair braiding and how to make biscuits and french kissing. The french kissing was just from a boy in my biscuits class. But either way, lesson learned.

Teacher: How will you decide which classes to cut?
Leslie: By attendance, and student evaluations. So just make sure your students leave with a smile.
Teacher: My class is called Coping with Terminal Illness.
Leslie: Hopefully your attendance is good! Actually no. Hopefully it's bad.

And it's because of you, our teachers, that every one of these recreation classes in this catalogue shines like a jewel in Pawnee's beautiful crown. Unfortunately due to budget constraints, this year we will have to remove five jewels from that crown.

Leslie: The first line, by the way: Oh captain, my captain. Ron Swanson, a swan song. Yeah. It gets better from there!

Marcie: Hmm, you seem to have a $40 late fee on a book called Mysteries of the Female Orgasm!
Leslie: No I don't!

Wow, that family looks so healthy. Look at them, they're all wearing vests.

You look like Encyclopedia Brown

Well, frankly I would love to hit that. But Ann's being a little weird about it.

Ann: Hey, how's the date going?
Leslie: Good, we just finished the MRI.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Leslie: I know you're not gay.
Tom: No, I'm not.
Leslie: But you're effeminate.
Tom: What?
Leslie: Well, you're wearing a peach shirt with a coiled snake on it.
Tom: That's because it was featured in Details magazine, and it's awesome.

Look, Tammy and I don't work. We are oil and water. Or oil and TNT and C4 and a detonator and a butane torch.

Ron