Leslie: That fish over there kinda reminds me of my mom.
Justin: Why?
Leslie: It's just being very withholding.

Nobody's more upset about this than me. I've been taking these rec center classes since I was in high school. It's where I learned hair braiding and how to make biscuits and french kissing. The french kissing was just from a boy in my biscuits class. But either way, lesson learned.

Teacher: How will you decide which classes to cut?
Leslie: By attendance, and student evaluations. So just make sure your students leave with a smile.
Teacher: My class is called Coping with Terminal Illness.
Leslie: Hopefully your attendance is good! Actually no. Hopefully it's bad.

And it's because of you, our teachers, that every one of these recreation classes in this catalogue shines like a jewel in Pawnee's beautiful crown. Unfortunately due to budget constraints, this year we will have to remove five jewels from that crown.

Leslie: The first line, by the way: Oh captain, my captain. Ron Swanson, a swan song. Yeah. It gets better from there!

Marcie: Hmm, you seem to have a $40 late fee on a book called Mysteries of the Female Orgasm!
Leslie: No I don't!

Wow, that family looks so healthy. Look at them, they're all wearing vests.

You look like Encyclopedia Brown

Well, frankly I would love to hit that. But Ann's being a little weird about it.

Ann: Hey, how's the date going?
Leslie: Good, we just finished the MRI.

Chris: Did you ever break your arm? You can answer that. Here, I'll turn it off.
Leslie: One time I was on my bike and some boys were making fun of me, so I chased them and I lost control. I'm surprised you can see that. It was like three years ago.
Chris: Can't believe I turned the machine off for that.

Leslie: Wait. How's he gonna know it's me? I'll wear a red rose in my hair. No, I'll wear a giant red hat. No, I don't have one of those. What should I wear? It's gotta be red.
Ann: I will just tell him what you look like.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Sometimes when you make an omelet you've gotta break a few eggs. What's the alternative? No omelets at all? Who wants to live in that kind of world? Maybe birds. Then all their babies would live.

Leslie

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April