Leslie: Have you ever seen Monster's Inc?
Ron: No.
Leslie: Damn it Ron! Engage in the culture once.

It's like rescuing a bunny from a lion! But that lion is a demonic sociopath - with really nice cleavage.

The snooker has become the snort!

Andy: We. Are going. To Chicago!
Tom: Andy, think about what you're saying right now? Because it's the smartest idea anyone's ever had! Let's go!

Councilman Jamm: You know who else had plans?
Leslie: Oh please don't say Hitler.
Councilman Jamm: Hitler!

  • Permalink:
  • Added:

Jessica: Is this a circle? Or is it an "O?" Is Oprah involved!?
Leslie: It's zero. I bid zero dollars.

Leslie: Ron, I just want you to know that I am not sorry for pushing your face into a cake.
Ron: Well I am sorry - for attending a public event.

No one should ever say that word out loud. It's like Voldemort - or Ron.

Why don't you shove all of them in your dumb mouth and then when I turn my back you can stab me with the skewer.

Leslie: Who cares if they have more money, I have the most valuable currency in America: a blind, stubborn, belief that what I am doing is right!

You all have 36 hours to find me $90 million, go!

Leslie: Get out of here Ed, I fired you!
Ed: Oh, yeah. If anyone wants to hang, I'll be at Subway!

Parks & Rec Quotes

I hit rock bottom that night. I mean I literally fell to the bottom of a pit and hit a rock. I remember laying there thinking, there's probably a good reason why I'm down here. And then I remember thinking I need morphine.

Mark

You know why tonight is so much fun? Because everyone's so gay. And they know how to have fun, and the dancing ... everyone is just who they are and who they are is just stone cold gay.

Leslie